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[Oma]

It will Nanto

[Daisy]

Oma - It was an essential addition to your home. Well done to the installers - and I'm sure you did an amazing clean up afterwards to keep you both safe.

Some friends of ours recently downsized, and designed and built their new house. Thinking ahead (they are in their early 60s and very fit) they designed the hallway with a lift in it. They said it was a fraction of the cost of doing that some years down the road. A bit of a luxury, they said, but they wouldn't have done it later.

[Nanto2girls]

Good morning. Not sure what we are doing today,will just take the day as it comes.

[Gemini]

Good morning everyone.
Oma, will you use to stair lift too at the end of a tiring day?! Some people use then to send piles of ironing etc up don't they?

Another lovely day forecast. We should make the most of is I think it's set to change over the weekend. The lovely weather is a blessing, but not if it means people go out in groups, extending this lock down phase for all of us.
We hope to go over to our friends house to collect Tena pants from when her mum lived with them. If not I need to buy more for mum.
Lady from a nursing home is phoning me this morning. Mum is allowing herself to become totally bedbound, then being miserable at being there and hardly eating as she's not in good position, and taking it all out on me and to an extent OH. This can't go on. You can't help someone who won't be helped.

Have a good day ladies, keep well.

[Plantaholic]

Gemini, I don't know what else you can do, I am so sorry she is taking it out on you and S. I hope the lady from a nursing home can help.

[Daisy]

Good morning early birds, and all who follow. Thank you for the red rose, Nanto and woofer.

Gem - I hope the lady from the nursing home can help, although I know a lot of nursing/care homes have problems at the moment (like most people). It's definitely not good for your mum to be staying in bed unnecessarily, and I don't suppose she's got any appetite when she's not moving about. As you say, it can't go on like that, and I'm sure it must be wearing you down when she's being grumpy as well. Take care of yourself and ask OH to give you a hug from me. xx

It's another gorgeous day here, so we're carrying on with the garden. For all the work we've done this week, it doesn't actually look any better, apart from the lawn being cut! But we've being doing the basic jobs like pruning, feeding and mulching - lots of that still to be done, though.

I hope Clover is ok and her family are giving her a lot of support. I wish we could do something to help.

[Oma]

Morning lovely ladies

We have that fine rain that soaks to your bones .
Things I had planned to do outside won't happen today unless it changes .

Gem it must be so frustrating and quite scary that your Mum has taken to her bed do you think she's giving up ,?
It's so sad when they get like that but you are being a wonderful daughter and remember she is being like this with you because she has no one else to vent her anger and frustration out of .
Your doing everything you can do and you must be worn out . Don't blame yourself my lovely XXX
By the way no haven't tried the lift yet


Daisy sometimes you do lots and look around and think it looks no different don't you but it's all in the grand scheme of things when everything is blooming you will get the reward for your hard work . Love the pic of Eva

Nanto that handsome boy is like my Storm go with the flow enjoy your off day xx

Hope Clover is with family . In situations like this isolation goes out of the door doesn't it .

Well as I can't get out to do what I want in garden today I have batch made Scones for the freezer .

I made 8 very large cheesy ones with cubes off cheese on top. B loves them but said he needs larger ones and 8 Fruit ones for me .
I have put them on trays to freeze raw then we just take what we need and cook them fresh .

B is a amazing cook can turn his hand to anything makes gorgeous cakes but cannot make Scones they never rise no matter what he tries

Not sure what I will do today a bit like Nanto see how it pans out xc

[Gemini]

Thanks Plant, Daisy and Oma. I would not like to tell you what she said to me yesterday, as I think it would upset my friends.
I'm sure Clover will be with family at this time. Such a sad time

[Lizzie48]

Oh dear Gem, that is not nice and I can't even imagine what she said!

[Gemini]

Now nursing home cant take anyone new who hasn't been tested negative for Covid19, but no tests available
We are all exploring further.

[Nana]

Gem, I can only go on experience with my own mum. When she died I honestly didn't like her. She was very cruel to me, (& sometimes OH) in the things she said & left me heartbroken. My sister said for me not to take it personally, alright for her to say as she wasn't in the firing line.

It's only just recently, (she died four yrs ago) that I can start remembering her with a little fondness. I'm only saying this in case you're feeling anger & resentment. Being caring, loving daughters we have these feelings, then straight away have a sense of guilt. I suppose what I'm trying to say is what you might be feeling is only natural.

All you can do is what you're doing. What you're doing is your best & you can't do any better than that.

[Nana]

Morning all. Managed to have a little video chat with my GS1 whose birthday it is today. OH & I sang to him, which he found amusing. Poor lad is still waiting for some of his gifts that are still somewhere in the post. I do miss them. Goes without saying really.

Oma is there a speed limit on your stairlift? I could just imagine you both speeding up those stairs like a pair o' gud uns. Have you put your scone recipe on the recipe section?My scones sound like B's. Mind you we still can't find flour.

Enjoy the rest of the day, whatever it is that you're doing Grans.

[Mimi]

Good morning all.

Gem I can only imagine what your mum said to you but please try not to take it too hard . My dear dad who was also my best friend said some rather abrupt and hurtful things to me when he became very unwell .
We had been through so much together, we had a wonderful bound but sadly illness changes things as our parents get old, ill and obviously very afraid.
They say you always hurt the ones you love and it's very true. I don't think your mum would deliberately set out to hurt you in anyway if she wasn't feeling unwell.


Oma I can just imagine you and B trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records trying to set an all time speed record on the stair lift !

[Daisy]

Gem - I agree with the other comments, illness, pain, fear and failing reasoning skills can make people say incredibly hurtful and even cruel things. And, yes, of course you are hurt by them. Cry when you need to but let the tears wash your hurt away. Nobody could have done more, and you are a loving, caring daughter, even though I know at times it isn't easy. We've often talked on here about mother-daughter relationships which aren't always fairy-tale sweetness and light, but you have still cared for your mum endlessly, and made her life as comfortable and safe as you can.

Stay strong. Sending love, xxx

[Oma]

Gem the ladies are right .
My sister was also my best friend and I was there every step of the way with her but boy for a while before she died she was really nasty to me . Her specialist nurse said to me don't take it to heart it's very common for this to happen as your at hand to be the punch bag .
That didn't stop it hurting and for quite some time after she passed I was really angry with her for treating me that way .

It seems when someone is Ill
they resent you for being well .strange isn't it .

Ladies if I was bursting for the loo I wouldn't rely on the lift , by time it got me up the stairs I would have peed myself