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Rollercoaster days with new baby!

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    #1

    Rollercoaster days with new baby!

    I am posting here as things get so easily lost in the Chatbox.

    After a 42 week+ pregnancy and 3day labour ending in a forceps delivery, my DD3 gave birth to her first baby, a beautiful little boy. My 4th grandchild and 3rd grandson.

    DD stayed in hospital overnight after the birth for staff to keep an eye on mummy and baby. The next morning they were told they had to stay in longer as DD had some numbness and mobility problems in her leg, which they thought may be due to nerve damage caused by the forceps. She is still having some problems, but it is much better.
    They allowed them home that evening. I got to visit and meet the baby during afternoon visiting.

    Yesterday, after two nights at home the midwife came to do checks and said the baby hadn't put enough weight on.
    DD and SIL had to take the baby back to hospital to have his feeding looked into. They had advice to feed him every 3 hours, 20 minutes of breastmilk then more milk either expressed or formula from a bottle. They are to do this even if he is sleepy and disinterested. DD and baby stayed in overnight. SIL had to go home which at least meant he got some sleep.
    They expected to go home this morning, but the Dr they saw said the baby hadn't gained enough weight, they were not happy with the feeding so they would have to stay in at least another night.
    DD had no problem expressing milk in hospital, so supply is no problem

    SIL and DD asked for help . DD needed some more maternity leggings and muslins for the baby, and they wanted someone to go in and relieve SIL for 3 or 4 hours so he could go home, see to the cat and a couple of other things.

    DD's best friend, A, who lives in Bath, is staying locally for a few days, hoping to meet the baby, so she offered to do the shopping. I offered to be the person relieving SIL and supporting DD on the ward . No visitors were allowed but one person could be with the mother.

    We were all set to do this, when we all get the message STAND DOWN!
    The next Dr who round came said 'He is gaining weight, you know what you are doing, you can go home'!

    The next thing that happened was DD phoned me to ask if we were in (yes we were) and could they, baby and A come round before going home?
    We were delighted. I love A and don't see her often so that was lovely too. SIL changed baby, A got a good cuddle, DD fed him, then I gave him his top up bottles.
    Everyone had tea and biscuits and OH made SIL some cheese on toast as he had had no lunch.

    It was a lovely afternoon, and the day had turned completely around!

    The three hour feeding is exhausting but I assured DD this wouldn't be for long. Baby has to be checked again on Friday, so fingers crossed his weight will be good and no more vists to hospital.
    “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
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    #2
    Gem, its certainly been a rollercoaster few days for the new family.
    Hope is weight will be satisfactory on Friday.
    Sometimes I forget to like posts,but that doesn't mean I don't like them.
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      #3
      These babies have given us all some scares since their births Thats for sure ,
      Once baby is in a routine they will all settle down , maybe alternative hours baby could have breast milk in a bottle given by Daddy allowing mummy to sleep then next 3 hours Daddy gets some sleep ,
      Its not easy being new parents especially when it’s your first is it .

      Must have been lovely having them visit DD probably secretly needed Mum around her just for reassurance 😁
      Im not fat just 6ft too small

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        #4
        Gem - I'm so sorry your DD3 and SIL are going through all this. It should be a nice peaceful time for them to get to know their beautiful little son and start settling him into a pattern of feeds. I thought babies tended to lose weight in the first few days?

        "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

        (Marianne Williamson)
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          #5
          Daisy, this is what I can't understand! They all lose weight and are expected to regain their birth weight by a week old, which isn't until Saturday!

          It's all to do with the damned charts again. He had fallen below the expected line .

          He was a bit dehydrated though so that did need sorting out.
          “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
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            #6
            So pleased to hear the problems seem to have been sorted out and the new parents can get into a routine. That was a lovely surprise for you to have a visit from DD and your GS3. Is your Sil able to have paternity leave?
            What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare
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              #7
              Plant, SIL is taking 6 weeks off. That's paternity leave plus some holiday. He is an amazing support to DD and a very happy and natural dad
              “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
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                #8
                Originally posted by Gemini View Post
                Daisy, this is what I can't understand! They all lose weight and are expected to regain their birth weight by a week old, which isn't until Saturday!

                It's all to do with the damned charts again. He had fallen below the expected line .

                He was a bit dehydrated though so that did need sorting out.
                I'd forgotten until I was reading this thread, but the midwife I had when DS2 was born gave me a hard time about breast feeding saying baby wasn't gaining enough weight and I was starving and damaging him!! But he was content, fed well, slept well, was alert etc etc, and a friend who was a midwife and also breast feeding her baby assured me he was fine. Her baby had gone through exactly the same pattern in the hot weather we were having. I hope DD3 isn't worrying or getting anxious - they seem to have arbitrary targets and can't use their instincts and visual evidence.

                I remember thinking thank goodness he wasn't my first baby, and thank goodness for a sane and sensible midwife friend.

                It sounds as though DD3 and SIL are great parents. xx

                "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                (Marianne Williamson)
                • Likes 2

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                  #9
                  She's getting very anxious Daisy.

                  Last night they ran out of expressed milk and the pump they have at home isn't as good as the hospital ones, so DD isn't managing with it. Baby not keen on formula and wouldn't take much of it.
                  As she said it seems ridiculous to take him off the breast after 20 minutes to give him a bottle he doesn't want!
                  She gave him more breast when he refused the bottle and she said he seemed much happier.
                  DD was anxious though as she had put the routine out of whack!

                  I said she needs to go with her instincts and as long as they feed him every few hours as has been suggested, milk he takes from the breast is better than milk he refuses from the bottle!

                  She is frightened as the threat seemed to be that if he's not gained when he is weighed tomorrow they will have to go to hospital again and he will be tube fed. I am sure this wont happen, but it is what she is fearing.

                  In my opinion most people in hospitals, especially doctors are not experts on breast feeding
                  “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
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                    #10
                    Gem, DIL's DD2 had so many problems and tears with breast feeding, it is her work as well, she is a nurse with premature babies. She was admitted herself twice with infection to the breasts in the end she had to stop the breast feeding as it wasn't doing her or the baby much good! It will be his first birthday on the 8th so he has survived it all. Her DD1 never had problems at all with breast feeding.
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                      #11
                      It can be so difficult can't it Lizzie?

                      I had many problems with DD1 including mastitis, and only managed to to feed her for 6 weeks.
                      No problems at all with DD2 , who I fed for a year.
                      ​​​The problem with DD3 was weaning her off the breast!! I fed her until she was turned 3. Only at bedtime after about 18 months but it was still very tying!!

                      Baby gained 2 ounces since yesterday, so that's good news.
                      “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                        #12
                        Gem - such good news that Baby E has gained 2 ounces in a day. I honestly think if your DD can get through the next few days feeding baby herself she will be delighted. I know it's not for everyone, but the medical profession shouldn't be threatening her by saying he will "have" to go on the bottle if they're not happy he's meeting their targets!!! The baby doesn't care about their targets and he doesn't seem too keen on the bottle, no matter what's in it!

                        My DS2 weaned himself at 8 months, and still wouldn't take anything out of a bottle, so effectively weaned himself onto a cup! They're all different, but in their way they are the experts in what's best for themselves.

                        "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                        (Marianne Williamson)
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                          #13
                          I'm totally with you Daisy.
                          “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                            #14
                            I agree , what’s all this target nonsense, it’s putting pressure on new mummy’s , that in itself will make them stressed making breast feeding even more difficult

                            She will know her and her baby better than anyone ,
                            Im not fat just 6ft too small
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                              #15
                              The baby has continued to gain weight so DD can finally just offer him as much breast milk as he needs.
                              They are still not to let him go more than three hours between feeds, and he will have further weight checks.

                              Hopefully soon things will be less rigid, as in my opinion full term babies do not need to be fed every 3 hours.
                              Sometimes it may be 2, sometimes 4 or more. You will never get that longed for going longer during the night if you have to wake them every 3 hours!!

                              At least things will be better now without the supplementary feeds to give ( which were often brought straight back up)
                              “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
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