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[Plantaholic]

All of her six children quite close so they will see she is okay. The difficult decision is to decide whether she will move out of her big house.

[Oma]

That's sad Plant but with 6 children I'm sure they will always be someone there ,

[Nanto2girls]

I always think it must be such a hard choice, deciding if to leave a house.Probably something she isn't even thinking about just now.

[ZIZI]

All of her six children quite close so they will see she is okay. The difficult decision is to decide whether she will move out of her big house.

You all know I did not get on with my mother but I have always thought that the biggest mistake she made was to allow herself to be manipulated out of her house. It was a four bedromed council house and we moved in when I was about 13. My brother lived two doors along with his then girlfriend who had two girls and a boy in a three bed house. He arranged a three way move. Someone in a one bedromed very pokey flat of the road would move into his place, he would move into my parents house and my mother would move into the one bedroom. it was only a matter of weeks after my dad passed. Mother moved in with ALL of her four bed furniture including two enormous freezers and you couldn't move in the place. Consequently she tripped and broke her leg very badly. She was then moved to a one bedroom warden assist bungalow and we managed to thin out the furniture, finally as she started not looking after herself she was moved to a small flat in a purpose built block where there was a dining room, nurses, care assistants, library and events put on.

When an old friend lost her husband about 18 months ago she started talking about moving and I told her to stay put for a while, she had been married for over 60 years and had lived in the house' or 50. I think people need time to get used to being on their own before making another big change in their lives. Just my opinion.

[Plantaholic]

I agree fully with you Zizi, the family are a bit worried about her living on her own, they realise now how much her husband did for her. Fortunately one of her sons and his wife are working on their house so they have moved in with her for the time being. One of the daughters rushed her to look at some flats, she told me she couldn't live in anything that small apparently she has eight wardrobes full of clothes. There will no shortage of cash for her to help make a decision. They had already set up cleaner and a gardener, plus a stair lift butI must say she is looking frail.

[Nanto2girls]

I think that is a good thing, her son and his wife,moving in with her, even if only in the short term.

[Oma]

A friend of mine,s husband passed away , her DD persuaded her to move into a small bungalow close to her ,within 6 weeks of his death , we didnt see her for a while as she lived by then quite a distance from us , then we bumped into her in the supermarket and she was looking so dejected , she hated where she was living and although it was near her DD she hardly saw her, had no friends around her and regretted the move . She wasnt ready to leave her home but felt pressured by her DD who thought she was doing the right thing moving her mother to a smaller property and close by her . Think your friend should take her time do her grieving first then make a plan

[Pearl5]

That's what we are so worried about with MIL, so frail cant manage the stairs, but she doesn't want to move, we cant force her but a worry her living by herself....such a big decisions

Sounds good your friend has her family living with her for now Plant

[Qwerty]

Had the twins today so only just getting on here to let you know all went ok at the hospital I am taking Amatryptilene and its the nearest I have been for 15 mths so told the consultant this and he has agreed to let me stay on them and up the dose if I need to so next app is about 4 mths ago so hope I have done right

[Oma]

As long as you having rest from that awful cough Qwerty you would think you smoked 30 a day

[Pearl5]

I was going to ask you Qwerty is it your cough you were going to the hospital with, I have had a cough for a few years, been told stress cough, heartburn, never found out the course of it, been better since I had my mask so wondered if my OSA had anything to do with it but its back and I know it will drag on and on, so would be interested to hear how you got on...pleased to hear your medication is helping you

[Daisy]

Qwerty - I'm glad everything went well and the Consultant let you stay on the Amatryptilene. xx

[Daisy]

Plant - I agree with the comments about taking some time to grieve before she makes any important decisions. She has plenty of support for the practical things, and company so she doesn't feel totally alone. You can understand younger member of the family wanting to try and make life easier with a smaller home, but she has all her memories there, and you can't just cut them out of your life. I do hope she's ok.

[Nana]

Oooo, just seen this Qwerty. So glad things are on the up.x

[Nanto2girls]

Good morning ladies.

Good news Qwerty.