A small world

[Oma]

Something similar to DDs encounter happened to me many years ago now,
I was chatting with one of MILs neighbours that we had known about 15 years ,
We got chatting about family and names,
I mentioned my maiden name and she instantly went quiet , then said, that's my name.

Turns out she was the illegitimate DD of my father's sister , she was born in 1920 a time when it was a shame.
She was never talked about.

As my father died when I was 15 I knew nothing about her.

We became very close till she died some years ago,
She had my Grandfathers family bible with all the family births etc in,
She left it too me.

Turned out my grandparents had found her when she was about 11 and took her in as my Aunt had married by then had other children and the step father didn't want her.

All them years she had lived by my MIL and I didn't know.

[Gemini]

Gosh that really is a small world story Oma!

[Daisy]

Oma, that is truly an extraordinary co-incidence. It sent shivers down my spine. She must have felt a deep connection with you to have left you the family bible.

[Oma]

It was many years ago now but I feel sad I didn't find her sooner, or at least while my mother was alive I could have asked more questions that I didn't like asking Edith.

I'm not religious but this bible is very dear to me I have it safely in a fancy box 😁

[Sum1Ls]

Oma, that’s a story with heartbreak and redemption. And what a story it is. It’s the stuff of what could be a brilliant novel. You could write it.

And Edith - rejected by society for ‘shame’ and then again by the man her mother married, how does anyone remain resilient after that.
And at the same time the ‘shame’ directed at the young girl who was made pregnant while the lad gets a free pass.

A story that resonates with that is what happened to a wonderful woman named Kath who was my TA for some years. She was a multi talented person who could turn her hand to anything, but also wonderfully empathetic with children and parents. When my daughter was at university, she needed to interview someone who was very active in the local community. Kath had retired by then and we both went to her house, G with some red roses and chocolates to say thank you, and Kath made a pot of tea and G asked her all sorts of questions. She gave such insightful answers and when G asked her how she managed to key into little children’s anxieties a bid tear rolled down her cheek. She explained that while she had had a happy, if a little strict, childhood, it was only when she was 17 and had to apply for some official papers, that she discovered that her ‘big sister’ was in fact her mother who had become pregnant at 16 and was then brought up by her grandparents who maintained the fiction that she was a late baby. We all shed a few tears and Kath said it was the first time anyone had ever bought her red roses.

I know there’s lots wrong with present day attitudes but at least that condemnation of vulnerable young girls has almost gone.

[Oma]

Sum1
I was only 16 and unmarried when B and I had our DD ,

There was. Still people who thought that way in 1973 ,

One neighbour in particular spat on me in the street, and made my life hell whenever I passed her,
You know the type hanging over the garden gate gossiping and spreading venom.

Karma came her way when both her DDs became unwed mothers ,

I held my head high and wouldn't let anybody bother me ,

Sadly one of her DDs commited suicide leaving her baby for her mother to bring up ,
Although I hated this woman , that is not something I wouldn't wish on anyone ,
The pain off losing a daughter that way doesn't bare thinking about does it.

Edith , had a long and very happy marriage and a son of her own ,
Colin her husband died shortly after .

[Daisy]

What heartache those young girls must have suffered who didn't have Oma's resilience or very supportive family. When I was small we had neighbours who had brought their daughter's baby up as their own. It was an open secret in our road, and nobody pointed fingers. We moved away, and when I was about 20 I started a new job. The lady in charge of one of the offices was the "big sister" and we recognised each other instantly. Something made me very cautious about what I said, and I could see the worry in her eyes that I would talk about her. Of course, I never did, and with hindsight I wish I could have found some way to reassure her that her secret was safe.

[Plantaholic]

Interesting posts, fortunately I didn’t have similar experiences.

[Gemini]

No, he did not know I was his neighbour, any more than I knew he was mine (until I worked it out)

His wife was amazed. They have lived there 30 years and us 15.

It wasn't his library morning today so I haven't seen him. I wonder if he will mention the connection now his wife has told him?!

I do feel more kindly towards the neighbour now I realise he is someone I know. Also, as someone else pointed out, people do have a right to dig within their own property. Neither he nor us would have expected our cables to be under his lawn two doors away!

[Daisy]

Gem, I'm glad you feel more kindly about your neighbour, and I agree you wouldn't have expected your cables to be under his lawn, so I think that's all good. I think the next move will be to see if he acknowledges you next time you meet at the library. I hope he will.

[Lizzie48]

To add to small world, I was brought up in a small Yorkshire village, I moved here 56 years ago and speak the language. After DH passed away I went ski-ing with a friend, we were in Italy, the Dolomite mountains, there was a new, covered, cable car, it wasn't busy, just the 2 of us and a family.

They were talking and me being as I am recognised the Yorkshire accent. They were surprised as I was speaking Dutch with my friend. They told me they came from a small village, which turned out to be the one next to where I grew up, I mentioned I have a very good friend in that village, my friends daughter had been their baby sitter when the children were small!

In a cable car, high in the mountains, that was a small world meeting!

[Daisy]

Lizzie, that really was an unusual meeting.

Such coincidences fascinate me. My most unusual one was visiting OH's brother and family in the Bahamas. I noticed someone do a double take when he saw me at a party. Incredibly it was a friend from my home village who I hadn't seen since I got married and moved away. We worked in the same town and often used to travel on the bus together. He had been living and working in Nassau and was a friend of OH's brother. A few days later, I was chatting with a Canadian. He said his wife was English, and said she came from a small village - the same one I had lived in. I didn't know her, but meeting two people from "home" was such a co-incidence.

[Oma]

They reckon your never far away from people you know all over the world Lizzie,
How nice to hear your childhood accent too,

Before my GS1 was born my DD & SIL were in Vegas on holiday,
Walking around the casino and they bumped into her cousin, my brother's daughter.
Neither had any idea the other one was there,

They spent a few days together enjoying the sights before my niece had to fly home,
They have some lovely photos of the time there,😁

[Daisy]

Oma, accents can cause comments, can't they. I was helping in DS2's shop one day. The customer I was serving leaned across the counter and whispered "Stoke or Nottingham?" It's unusual for people to recognise a Potteries accent so I was quite surprised he recognised it. It turned out that I used to work with his best friend, who was based in the London office but often came up to the factory.