Caring for the older generation

[Daisy]

Gem - it sounds an odd thing to say, but I'm really pleased - both for you and your mum. Let's hope it is the first step to having a regular cleaner - and even possibly a larger tv when she sees how good the snooker looks on DD2's giant screen.

I think she will be surprised and pleased how nice her home will look when you've worked your magic on it. She's very lucky to have you and S.

[Gemini]

Daisy, thanks!
I'm pleased too! It won't be pleasant, it really is quite grubby in some areas, but it will be so worth it.

[Oma]

Gem its a big step for your Mum , you just need to gentle work on her about the cleaner , The bribe of watching snooker seems a good idea

[Qwerty]

Hopefully Gem it will only have to be done once

[Plantaholic]

You are a very careing daughter, shame your mother doesn't appreciate it.

[Gemini]

Plant, I think she does, in her own way. At times she says how she couldn't be without me, and how glad she is OH and I are together. OH does far more for mum than my ex ever did or would if we were still together. And at times she gives us money, the odd £20 note, for doing things, which we don't want and leave if we possibly can! She is very insistent.
Other times I feel nothing I do is enough, and that she forgets I have a busy life outside of the times I see her each week!
I do think in her own way she does appreciate me.

[Daisy]

Gem i - it's a dilemma, isn't it. As you say, your mum does appreciate you, but at times it would be better if she was more understanding of your other commitments and realised that when she changes her mind about appointments etc it causes you and OH a lot of re-arranging.

[Gemini]

Exactly Daisy!!!! She behaves as if that should be no problem for either of us!

[Qwerty]

I do think Gem that elderly mums have forgotten what it’s like to be running a home , getting on in life although your a still a spring chicken compared to me , childminding shopping, cleaning etc , I hope I never forget how hard it was to run a home, do all of the above apart from childminding ! working full time etc and can understand how hard it is for the family , mums eh don’t you just love em !!

[Gemini]

That's true Qwerty, I think she has forgotten what it was like. Also she never did a lot for her own mum, just visited her once a week and took her a bit of shopping (one of her sisters did everything for their mum in her later life) and she didn't do the childcare for her GC that I do, plus they were all in one family, which makes it simpler!

[Daisy]

Most of our mothers' generation lead very different lives. Some might had had a granny living with them, so they were cared for as part of the family - very different from having granny in a different place. Also our children probably needed less childcare because they played outside with their friends (or at least mine did) and childcare arrangements were a lot more flexible. You could say to another mother you were just popping down to the shops, did they want anything, and could they just keep an eye on your children. So we didn't depend on our mothers so much.