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    #1

    Presents

    It is my eldest GS's wife's birthday this week, I have a card for her but when I asked my GS for ideas for a present, he said I shouldn't be buying them presents. Who do you buy presents for? I like to buy presents for the family but he feels I shouldn't. Now 4 of my GC have partners and there are 3 GC he thinks I should not be buying presents for the adults. I, of course, buy presents for my DD and Sil I don't feel I want buy presents for my GC and not their partners. I always send cards, I feel they are more important than a present.

    Would love to have your thoughts on this.
    What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare
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    #2
    I think it is very personal Plant, I am not one for birthday presents etc, I do get presents for them, I have just ordered an olive tree fertiliser set for DIL2, not for her birthday or anything but because I know she wants it. Now the GD's are older I usually transfer money for them, buy them other things when I feel like it, GD1 went home with a few things yesterday I know she will use. I got GD2 a hanging monkey for her room a few weeks ago.

    I have said I will buy fly screens to be fitted for DS2 and partner, they have to measure them etc and order them.

    My mother used to panic all year round of what to get everyone for Christmas, I told her time and time again not to do it, she didn't listen to me though. I must have a lot of my fathers Scottish blood in me! No frills attached!
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      #3
      I always told my Mother to only buy for the children , once they get to a age they earning their own money they don't need presents ,
      Having said that I still buy for DD, SIL, for Birthdays and Christmas and SIL's parents we agreed with SIL's parents to only buy token gifts for each other nothing more than £10 in money ,

      Of course the Grandchildren get gifts or money ,
      We don't buy for siblings or nephews and nieces we have too many of them now

      Its MIL's Birthday on Friday she just wants flowers , like us she doesn't want or need anything but she does like her flowers .

      Im not fat just 6ft too small

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        #4
        That is what I used to tell my mother Oma, when they are earning they buy what they want! Are you feeling any better now?

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          #5
          It's very difficult, and I suppose all families have different 'rules' and the rules change as everyone gets older.

          We buy presents for our sons and daughter-in-laws, our grandchildren and just 3 long-time friends. The friends' are just token presents for birthdays and Christmas. We send cards to lots of friends and OH's siblings and their OHs. It's a nice way to keep ion touch and I know how much I enjoy receiving cards and the little messages that are often included on them.

          For her birthday this year, DIL1 asked for donations to a charity so we donated and bought her a small present as well.

          Our GDs are still at the age where it's fairly easy to buy them something they want, but much harder with our teenage GSs. We usually give them money now.

          I think a lot depends on the size of your family as well as their ages.
          "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

          (Marianne Williamson)

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            #6
            My DB and I decided many moons ago to stop buying each other, and partners, birthday/Christmas presents and that once the children had reached 21 we would stop them too. I've stopped the Greatnieces as they become 18. We do acknowledge milestone birthdays/anniversaries with a gift.

            I buy for OH,DD,SiL and GS and DS and his GF. Stopped giving presents to neighbours etc a long time ago. It was getting out of hand and there was always someone I'd forgotten!
            Sometimes I buy something just because I know the recipient will like it or just 'because' !!!

            I think I'd just send your GS1's wife a nice bunch of flowers Plant, just to acknowledge her birthday, but I'd be guided by him and his advice. Maybe give a joint present to GC and partners at some point during the year rather than individual presents. A voucher for a meal out, something like that.
            Believe you can and you're halfway there.
            Theodore Roosevelt.

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              #7
              We buy for each other,hubby's parents,our sons and their partners and the grandaughters and partners.
              Sometimes we struggle with what to get for in laws.
              All the others get some sort of gift and money.
              Sometimes I forget to like posts,but that doesn't mean I don't like them.

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                #8
                I thought I would buy flowers for DS'1 wife's birthday on Sat. GC just send me a card on my birthday but I do get gifts from them at Christmas.
                What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare
                • Likes 1

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                  #9
                  Flowers are a good choice Plant.

                  My mum has always bought for the family, but not for her GD's other halves on birthdays. In fact she never even asked when their birthdays are! She buys the 3 of them very small token gifts at Christmas.

                  I spend about the same on my SIL's as I do on my DD's. I buy for the 3 GC and my mum of course. Also my sister, as of course she doesn't have friends, so would get no gifts without the family ones.
                  OH doesn't buy for her brother and SIL or nieces any more. We buy for her 3 great nephews at Christmas.
                  I exchange presents with 4 friends. I tried to stop a few years ago but it didn't really work out!
                  “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                    #10
                    I think it's so difficult to choose presents, especially for the menfolk! It's my DS2's birthday later this month, and I've got no idea what to get him. He likes to choose his own clothes, drinks mainly non-alcoholic beer, and is allergic to most toiletries. His main hobby is cooking but it's hard to find something he really wants in the way of equipment etc. Help!
                    "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                    (Marianne Williamson)

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                      #11
                      Oh I agree I hate buying for men!
                      Now I have no dad, FIL or husband, it's only the SIL's to buy for thank goodness!
                      “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                        #12
                        My Dil is very good at giving me ideas for DS and my Sil is always pleased with a jumper. My son is a good cook and I bought him a nice knife. I once bought him an at home cookery lesson. Virgin experiences are popular with my family.
                        What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare

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                          #13
                          Plant - I bought my DS2 a set of palette knives as part of his Christmas present after watching him trying to butter bread with an ordinary knife! One year DIL got him a one-day cookery course with a local chef. It was for two people so he took GD1 along as well, and she really enjoyed it, although it's her sister who is proving to be the keen cook.

                          "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                          (Marianne Williamson)

                          Comment

                            #14
                            We tend to ask if there is anything the SILs want. Otherwise my fail safe presents for them are Amazon vouchers and hampers of food and drink treats ( which I make up myself)
                            “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                              #15
                              I mentioned elsewhere about constructing our DS2's birthday present today!

                              He's a very enthusiastic cook and likes using fresh herbs, so we got him a herb planter. It's almost table height (so out of Cooper's range for watering!!) and we took it over this morning and planted it up with various herbs, so he'll see it when he gets home from work tonight. We're taking Cooper back in a bit so we'll hopefully see his reaction!
                              "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                              (Marianne Williamson)
                              • Likes 3

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