My sister.

[Grauntie Mag]

So very sorry to hear the news Lizzie. Sending condolences to you. X

[Daisy]

Lizzie - there's probably a lot for him to organise, and at a time when I'm sure he's least able to deal with all the bureaucracy. Are his sons staying with him?

[Sum1Ls]

So sorry, and deep sympathy to you being so far away. Distance make the challenges even harder. Glad you have good people around you for support and comfort.

[Lizzie48]

Again, thank you! Daisy, the youngest son lives close by and the eldest will be back again on Monday to help arrange everything. I asked BIL if she had arranged anything, he said not, isn't that usual in the UK? I don't want to say anything to upset them.

[Gemini]

Lizzie, you can have preplanned funerals (my mum has one in place, arranged when my OH was still working)
I think the majority over here do not, but I might be wrong.
OH knows I want the Archers signature tune for coming out of the crematorium, but that's it as far as any plans go!

[Plantaholic]

I am thinking about it as I found it very hard to arrange my OH's service.

[Gemini]

My mum did hers to save me having to do it which was considerate of her. I should do the same.

[Lizzie48]

I have a folder, called, The next of kin folder. All instructions etc for insurance policies, memberships, funeral wishes, passwords, accounts, etc etc.

I should say I purchased this and DS2 said I could have used an exercise book!

[Gemini]

Most sensible Lizzie.

[Daisy]

That is a sensible idea, Lizzie, whether it's an exercise book or a purpose-built record.

Plant - I found if very hard to arrange my cousin's funeral last year, and had to a lot of second guessing, trying to work out what he would have chosen for himself. I also made a couple of decisions on what I wanted for him - as his only available relative I thought I was ok to do that.

[Nana]

Lizzie, I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news. Sending love to you & your family.❤

[Sum1Ls]

Yes, making your wishes known is wise. Do it on a sunny day when you won’t upset yourself (experience) and give a copy to your relatives. I’ve made it quite clear that I want a Requiem Mass, I’ve chosen the music, the hymns, the scripture readings and prayers and said very firmly that there are to be no eulogies. They can talk about me at the wake afterwards which I hope will be a good one.

And I’ve named the charity any donations will go to - I don’t want flowers.

It saves all that worry about ‘what would Mummy have wanted’.

[Gemini]

Aww yes Sum1, your state of mind and even the weather at the time would make a difference.
This will be on my To Do list for 2021.

[Daisy]

Sum - that's very good advice and takes a lot of worrying and wondering away from the family at a sad time. It's a very good tip to do it on a sunny day - I hadn't thought of that. There's part of me that says I don't mind how/if people want to remember me, but making your wishes known might be easier for them.

[Lizzie48]

Sum, that is exactly what I have done, I just hope they won't be needing to use it for a long time yet!!!