Is the family you have the one you imagined you would have?

[Daisy]

Reading this thread suddenly made me realise that I cannot remember ever having any interest in having children. Even dolls were of no interest to me. I just wanted to get out on roller skates or bike and climb a few trees or get into scrapes wherever I could. I was always called a Tomboy and now I look back I see why. I didn't really think about kids until I met and married DH and when DS1 was born I had no idea about how to deal with babies as I was an only child and had no experience at all of nappies feeding or baby care. I remember being surprised that I was actually able to do the job at all.

Bizzy Lizzy - this could have been the post I wrote!! I never thought about having children - I think I supposed I would eventually because most women do, don't they!! I was 24 when I married OH and we embarked on a rather nomadic life as he got moved around every 18 months-2years with his job. Five years later DS1 arrived, and I really had no idea at all of what it entailed to have a baby. I alternated between worrying about all sorts of silly things (like a nuclear war!) and allowing him to do things that would frighten more sensible mums to death. Having got one baby, I didn't want an only child so DS2 arrived 2yrs 9mths later. He was a delightful, easy happy baby and a couple of years later I briefly thought it would be nice to have a third child, but I hated pregnancy and OH wasn't keen on having more children. The final decider was that I had some kind of instinct that DS2 would not benefit from being a middle child. I was more than happy to have two children of the same gender - I thought they would have interests in common and would be good company for each other, and this proved to be the case! I found motherhood got easier as the boys got older.

Finally, I can now see why I got 2 boys - I'd never have coped with doing a little girl's hair for school every morning - you should have seen the mess I made of GD1's pony tail today!!!

[Gemini]

LOL, Daisy, all my girls had waist length hair and my mum couldnt handle it at all. The states of the girls hair after sleepovers at Nannas left a lot to be desired

[Daisy]

Gemini, your poor mum must have been tearing her own hair out with 3 Rapunzels! I find it difficult because I'm afraid of hurting her. I've seen so many little girls squirming as their mums/grans manhandle their hair into plaits or a pony tail, and GD1's hair is fine and curly, so little bits keep escaping!

[Nana]

Having a cruel mum, I never thought about being a mum myself. I did have my first baby however two yrs after I married. I admit that I had the baby because I wanted to have a living person that I could love & would love me back as much as I loved them. (OH then was mentally abusive.....clever man, no visible marks). Second baby after a miscarriage, because I didn't want an only child scenario. Whenever I wish I'd never met that vile man, I look at my beautiful DDs & what fantastic mums they are. Most rewarding of all is that when I say how proud they make me feel they say it's because they had a good teacher. 😥