Is the family you have the one you imagined you would have?

[Gemini]

Did you dream of a large brood, or one of each, or an indulged only child? How did the family you have compare to this?

I knew from age 14, when my neighbour had a baby boy who I fell in love with, that I wanted children.
I wanted 4, and imagined a mini 'Waltons'set up!

Reality was a bit different. I took to motherhood at 21 straight away, but found labour totally traumatic. I couldn't bear to think of going through that three more times, but knew I would have to once more, as I didn't want our daughter to be an only child. Her sister arrived couple of years later.
Finances and a workaholic husband, meaning I was pretty much a single parent a lot of the time were other reasons for giving up on the big family.
After a while I knew I hadn't had enough, I wanted one more baby. I was only 33, our financial situation had improved, and my husband had matured a lot more. A new baby seemed a good idea.
Our 3rd beautiful daughter was born when her sisters were 12 and almost 10. Adored and worshipped by us all from day one, she is still the baby, although 27 in a couple of weeks time!

Not quite the family I envisioned, but not too far from it

[Shemadee]

I used to tell my Mum I was going to have 12 children, six white and six black!

My first two pregnancies and labours were text book and very straightforward DD1 then DS. Unfortunately third pregnancy ended with a late miscarriage and then pregnancy with DD2 was not so straightforward not helped as my Mum died just before DD2 was born premature and small for dates. This all rather put a stop to my eternal broodiness! DS was envious of only children! Ironically DD1 and DS weighed in at 7lb 7ozs and 7lb 8ozs whilst DD2 was only 4lb 11ozs but was the most painful birth - though even then only about six hours so not bad compared to what some people have to go through.

If finances weren't an issue I would have liked a larger family but also wouldn't wish the stress and worry of a difficult pregnancy etc on anyone.

Just used auto save once more - a real bonus and timesaver.

[Nanto2girls]

I don't think I really imagined what family I would have, but I knew I wanted kids while I was young.I was 18 when the eldest was born, and hoped to have number 2 a year later.Didn't happen though, I was 21 when the youngest was born.Both hubby and myself said 2 children only, and we did.

[Guest]

I didn't want to get married and I didn't want any children. I did want to see the world, have a career and be independent.

Only when I met someone who had the same views as me did I get married!

Then I sort of wanted children - but not babies. Hard to get one without the other, but with a boy and a girl all worked out well in the end.

[Enfys]

I always though I would have 3 babies and I also wanted a black one! Loved my little black dolly so much . After our 2nd child, our son, was born I realised a third was no option. I suffered terribly after both births with PND and just couldn't bear the thought of that again. It wouldn't have been fair to any of us, it was a nightmare. So we had our one of each, both healthy and happy.

[herriotfan]

When I was a young girl I always told people I was going to get married then two years later have a baby boy then another two years later I would have a little girl.
I'm sure they all thought I was living in a girly dream world.
Well, I was right. We married, DS was born two years later, DD was born two years after him!!

[Pearl5]

I always wanted four children, all girls the thought of a boy terrified me, I have been brought up all girls, 1 sister all cousins girls, so just went through pregnancy "expecting" it to be a girl, 3 weeks early there "he" was, the first boy in our family, 4lb, had 2 hernia operations, at a few days old, and I just fell in love with him straight away, got married to his dad when he was 8months old, that wedding night ended up me in hospital beating up by my "new" husband, had seen slight signs of it before but thought he would change, he did....worse, found out I was already pregnant and had DD exactly 9 months later, going through a divorce, I had my lovely mam to support me so I was a lucky lass, then met my lovely OH, completely different person to 1st OH, then had 2 DD's with him, was lucky enough for him to take on my first 2 and treat them as his own, so the 4 all got brought up the "same" no favouriteisms...(sp). then bought a house, lived together 20yrs, before finally getting married, now 6 yrs married, cant say we have had our fair share of **** thrown at us, but family is family and I would do it all again if it keeps little ones safe.

I would miss my 1st OH out but still have all my 4 kids....I know what I mean.....

[Skye]

I would have wanted four children, three boys and one girl, or even four boys! A "psychotic" (for want of a better word) first husband, and total lack of finances, meant I just got one son. When I remarried It was late in the day for kids, I was hoping for four grandchildren but they too have stopped at one child...

[Gemini]

I always wanted four children, all girls the thought of a boy terrified me, I have been brought up all girls, 1 sister all cousins girls, so just went through pregnancy "expecting" it to be a girl, 3 weeks early there "he" the first boy in our family, 4lb, had 2 hernia operations, at a few days old, and I just fell in love with him straight away, got married to his dad when he was 8months old, that wedding night ended up me in hospital beating up by my "new" husband, had seen slight signs of it before but thought he would change, he did....worse, found out I was already pregnant and had DD exactly 9 months later, going through a divorce, I had my lovely mam to support me so I was a lucky lass, then met my lovely OH, completely different person to 1st OH, then had 2 DD's with him, was lucky enough for him to take on my first 2 and treat them as his own, so the 4 all got brought up the "same" no favouriteisms...(sp). then bought a house, lived together 20yrs, before finally getting married, now 6 yrs married, cant say we have had our fair share of **** thrown at us, but family is family and I would do it all again if it keeps little ones safe.

I would miss my 1st OH out but still have all my 4 kids....I know what I mean.....

I wanted all girls too, Pearl, and got them! I wanted only GDs, but the arrival of my gorgeous GS changed my opinions. I totally adore him, no less and no more than his girl cousin
I'm glad you ended up with a lovely man.

[Glammanana]

I always wanted children but when we first married I decided to stay on the pill for a year or two so we could get some bits and bobs for our first home,if you remember then you didn't get items like washing machines etc for wedding presents you got about 12 toasters lol didn't you ?
My DD arrived first in what was a very quick birth for a first baby just under 1 hour,we tried for another baby within 12 months but no joy,what happened was 4 miscarriages all around 5/6 mths and it was so depressing,when the specialist found the problem it was because with quick birth of DD my womb had torn and it was not noticed,it had healed but left a weakness so the next time I became pregnant I had a stitch put in the neck of the womb and out popped DS1 followed 5 years later by a surprise DS2 they are all only children in their own way as they have always had my attention when they where babies DS2 was always known as the baby and sometimes I slip up and still call him that to his
great annoyance. When I got to my late 30s I did think of trying again but talked myself out of it again I always wonder what the outcome would have been as I love being a mum.

[Bizzy Lizzy]

Reading this thread suddenly made me realise that I cannot remember ever having any interest in having children. Even dolls were of no interest to me. I just wanted to get out on roller skates or bike and climb a few trees or get into scrapes wherever I could. I was always called a Tomboy and now I look back I see why. I didn't really think about kids until I met and married DH and when DS1 was born I had no idea about how to deal with babies as I was an only child and had no experience at all of nappies feeding or baby care. I remember being surprised that I was actually able to do the job at all.

[Qwerty]

A smashing thread I might say, I wanted babies for as long as I could remember never thought I needed to have a partner lol but I was 23 when I got married and waited 3 yrs for my DS we needed to get a home together my OH was in university when we met and I worked to support him those 3 yrs. I must admit I wanted a girl just to make pretty really very shallow of me really but like all of us when he arrived he was my world 3 yrs later again I wanted a girl but all through the 2nd pregnancy I felt sure it would be another boy and when the midwife said its a girl I just couldn't believe my luck and I am lucky having one of each, my married life has been more than I could have wished for my OH has made us a lovely home and my children were well provided for. I sometimes think another one would have be nice but I was 30 when I had my DD which was old in them there days, funnily enough my boy turned into a very gentle person he loved animals nature etc didn't like boisterous boys and fighting my DD was a real tomboy wouldn't wear a dress so I got what I wanted but in a different way!!!!!!!

[Oma]

I cant say I really wanted children I never gave it a thought then low and behold at 16 I was pregnant with my DD easy birth 1hour and 20 minutes 3 sharp pains and she was there just popped out
Then we waited almost 8 yrs before deciding on another one 27 hours of pure torture and DS came out screaming and never stopped I was told afterwards that I was so damaged it wasn't advisable to have anymore and they doubted I could conceive again anyway , well after his birth there was no way I was thinking about having another so Brian was packed off for the Snip . All during my pregnancy with DS we both thought it was another girl and we were happy with that but getting a boy was a bonus .

[Qwerty]

OOhh forgot to say my OH had the snip done but it didn't work first time so the second time he had to go to theatre WELL you cant put a good man down !!!!!!!

[Libra Gran]

I always wanted children, I used to babysit for umpteen people . Like Oma I got pregnant at 16, married at 17. I then had 3 in 4 years, Matt was my number 4 and a surprise after 6 years. I was blessed to have girl, boy, girl, boy. I wouldn't be without any of them, originally I wanted 6 but Matt was a difficult baby and that put me off for life.. They have all been a huge blessing and although we weren't by any means well off, we managed. It wasn't like today with all the peer pressure to have the latest trainers/clothes etc. I think my lot would agree they had a good childhood and I was the Mother I hoped they wanted, must have done something okay still close to 3 of them.Estranged son I love but his choice to not be part of the family, now theres another storyin its self, maybe another day.