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Grandson reluctant to take the final step in toilet training!

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    Grandson reluctant to take the final step in toilet training!

    My grandson is 3 years and one month old and is recently toilet trained. He never wets himself and can use potty or child toilet seat, and if away from home will use a normal toilet seat if you hold him.
    However, when it comes to emptying the bowels, its another matter! He will hang on for days, and he usually went every day, he has a vegetarian diet!
    I think he has only 'performed' on potty or toilet about twice. The rest of the time in pull ups, or pants. Recently DD has been putting him in pants in the daytime, as he is so reliable in the weeing department!

    Today was my day to look after him, and he hadn't pooed for a couple of days or more. I guessed it would happen. It was obvious it was on its way all day, but nothing happened, and in fact he was reluctant to go at all. Late afternoon he did sit on the potty and do a wee. While I was in the kitchen making his tea he came in and told me he needed some privacy, so not to come into the living room!! This is always a signal he needs a poo. No problem when he was wearing nappy or pull ups, but not ideal when not. I used all my persuasive tactics to persuade him to either sit on toilet or potty, and when he totally refused, to wear pull ups. He wouldn't do any of them. He screamed shouted, and even hit me. He was extremely cross. I never shout, but I did and firmly told him he was not allowed to hit Grandma,so he knew that he had really overstepped the mark then so hopefully he wont do that again.
    I just couldn't get him to let me put pull ups on him, so I left him alone and the inevitable happened. I then had to be very patient before he would even come out from under the dining room table where he was lying! We went upstairs, I cleaned him all up put clean pants on and he came down and had his tea.
    He asked if he would get sticker from mummy as he had done a poo I said no he would not as he hadn't done it in any of the places I asked him to. He then asked if I would be giving him a little present!!! I had said earlier in the day that if he did do it in toilet or potty I had a little present for him. I told him Grandma wasn't cross with him, but that neither did she have present for him today, as he hadn't done anything I asked. Cheek of the boy!

    He told his mummy when she picked him up that he hit Grandma and wasn't kind to Grandma, and was sorry. OH had pointed out to him at tea time that it still hurt when you have hit someone, even if you say sorry. He seems to think saying sorry is some sort of absolution and wiping the slate clean to do it again!
    DD is a bit worried about the poo thing, and going to talk to her HV. I told her its far from unusual, and it will stop eventually. I think she's going to use pull ups again until he has mastered this.
    Anyone else had this experience?

    “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

    #2
    tell me about it ! Miss M has never performed on the potty or the loo but in her pants . One day last week DILs dad was in charge , he was in the kitchen and came into the sitting room to find she had "decorated " the walls the curtains the carpet ....................... he is an elderly man with his fair share of aches and pains , but manfully started to clean her up , her big brother came in from school and advised the shower , so they set to............. of course she was screaming fit to bust !! DS3 , her Dad arrived home and took on cleaning the walls etc , but it took 3 days with various cleaning products and many bad words to get the place sweet !!............................... she has performed in the potty since .............. whewwwwwwwww

    Comment


      #3
      Good grief Aggie!!
      “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

      Comment


        #4
        Oh yes my DS wouldnt go for days and would never poo in toilet or potty but happily went in his pants , i remember clearly the day this changed he was about 3 1/2 and i was painting the loft hatch he was playing in his room and he said he was going to poo so i said your potty is there beside you ,no he said then the toilet is there , again he said no , so i said well you will just have to sit in it as mammys busy and if you want to still be a baby do it in your pants i then turned away from him and carried on painting , about 5 minutes later a little voice from the bathroom called ,,Ive had one he was so proud of himself that from that day we never had a problem . i had never said get on with it before infact it had became a fight of wills but when i said i didnt care he for once did as he was told ,
        Im not fat just 6ft too small

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          #5
          Gem - just a thought. Does GS get a tummy ache when he needs to poo? It sounds as though he's holding back, which isn't ideal and could build up problems for later. But if it hurts him, you can't blame him for putting off the evil moment.

          Aggie - whewwww indeed - thank goodness sh'e using the potty now.
          "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

          (Marianne Williamson)

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            #6
            Had the opposite with our DGD. Would happily go on the potty but insisted on showing the contents to all and sundry. She expected lots of praise and gasps of wonder too . Thankfully that phase didn't last long, once the novelty wore off.
            "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr Seuss

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              #7
              Enfys - I bet that phase is something she would happily forget now!
              "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

              (Marianne Williamson)

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                #8
                Daisy, I'm not sure if he has tummy ache.

                Enfys, my DD1 was like that, eager to show Daddy, Nanna, anyone who happened to be around. She did grow out of it
                “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                  #9
                  Wonder if it's a phobia thing Gem he seems a little frustrated with it all and it's difficult to sort but hopefully it's short term
                  Last edited by Qwerty; 25-11-2015, 04:40 PM.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I think you maybe right Qwerty, if the poor little sole doesn't go for a few days, it must be painful for him.
                    What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare

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                      #11
                      Gemini try googling this, Im sure I've heard of this kind of retention before. Hopefully he will get the ideal soon, funny little things aren't they.
                      "What doesn't kill us,makes us stronger."

                      Comment


                        #12
                        We have had similar with little gs who is 2.5 yrs, we reward him for a poo in the potty or toilet, but if he goes in his pants we take a while to get round to cleaning it now and that seems to be doing the trick we haven't had one in the pant for a week or so..... maybe we've cracked it. We do not scold when the poo is in the wrong place we just say 'oh dear you can't have your chocolate button (or whatever) as your poo should be in the potty or the toilet. Never mind, next time do it in the proper place and you will get your chocolate button'.
                        Grandmothers are just antique little girls - author unknown

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                          #13
                          Avo - it sounds as though your little GS is getting the right idea - the power of a chocolate button is amazing. But they all progress at their own speeds, and we can only encourage and reinforce the successes.
                          "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                          (Marianne Williamson)

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Yes Daisy, they will not be pooing in their pants when they are 21
                            What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Avo, I may have some chocolate buttons in for next time GS is here!
                              “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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