Grandson reluctant to take the final step in toilet training!

[Plantaholic]

That sounds a good idea Nana, never experienced the problem myself with my children or GC

[Daisy]

Nanto - there are some really interesting suggestions on the first link you gave - and it seems it's a common thing! Perhaps it is just too scary for some children to poo in the potty or loo, and you have to find a way of making it feel 'safe' for them.

[Gemini]

Thank you everyone for the helpful comments and links. It does seem more common than I thought.
I hope your GD gets over it soon Oma. Being a girl I bet she does!

[Avo]

We've gone 'backwards' with our gs, he is 3 now and he has started wetting his pants and pooing in them again. His baby brother has just started being mobile and I wonder if this has something to do with it. It certainly is trying .... will have to see how it goes. Currently we try to ignore it and just wipe up the mess and say 'oh you should have asked for the toilet' or words to that effect.

[Daisy]

Avo - I think that's all you can do at the moment. He may well be feeling that his little brother is more of a 'threat' to him now he's mobile.

[Gemini]

This is getting beyond a joke!! I have just cleaned GS up. It was a very 'liquidy' one and took me ages to clean him. It was all over the mat ( the pull ups hardly contain it ) and even on the back of his T shirt, which I had to change. He tried to help me by lifting his back and bottom while I cleaned him, and several times thanked me.
Heartbreaking really. I wish he could just get over this hurdle.

[Daisy]

Oh, Gem. Poor little lad. If it is starting to upset him, perhaps it's time for your DD to have a word with her GP (without taking GS with her).

[Gemini]

The situation is still the same.
( 3years and 10 months old now) I am hoping that suddenly, one day soon, it will happen!

[Daisy]

Gem - I don't know what to say. Did your DD talk to the doctor?

[Gemini]

No Daisy. I think she almost just accepts it as the way things are!
It can't go on much longer. He will be 4 soon and actually looks older. He wouldn't look at all out of place in a reception class.
I hardly ever see her without him present, and he rarely goes off and plays alone, so opportunities to discuss something like this don't come up often. I will talk to her about it when I get the chance, to see what she is thinking about it all.

[Daisy]

Gem - I do sympathise - it's a very difficult situation, and as you say, he looks older than he is, and is also a big lad to pick up/lift or whatever you need to do when he has an 'accident'. I don't suppose it's something you want to discuss on the phone after he'd gone to bed, but not being able to talk without him hearing is frustrating.

I'm still wondering if there is a physical reason, and that it happens too quickly for him to signal his need.

[Gemini]

Daisy that's defiantly not the case. He asks for a pull up to wear to do this and can hang on while I get him one and help him on with it. It seems to be some irrational fear of doing it in the toilet or on the potty.

Fortunately as he is older changing isn't too hard on my back . I change him on the spare bed, He gets himself up there, I put a pillow for him to put his head on so the rest of him can go on the changing mat!
It doesn't happen every time I look after him, thank goodness, although when he stays the night it will always happen at some point.

[Daisy]

Gem - it sounds as though he has excellent control. I wonder what is bothering him then about the loo or potty!

I change GD2 on the bed - it's too hard on my back and my knees trying to do it on the floor. Hopefully, she's almost ready for potty training. She always comes and tells me when she's done a poo - and wants changing immediately - which is good.

[Gemini]

That is a good sign Daisy. It will be good to say goodbye to nappies.
I have been changing nappies non stop for almost 7 years. GD, advanced in all other ways, was turned 3 before she was out of nappies, by which time her cousin had been born! I wonder if I have another 3 years of them with GS2?!

[Avo]

I have read that some mums put the pull up in the potty and ask the child to poo into it there.... maybe worth a try?