Touchy Feely

[Plantaholic]

Are you a touchy feely person? I am a person who is a touchy feely and I was thinking about my family. DD and eldest GD are not and I suspect my eldest GS is not keen although he will give me a hug. It was one of the things that attracted my OH. My DS, DIL and family are all touchy feely people.I was wondering how you feel about this.

[Oma]

Plant we are all touchy feely in our family , if we have a get together it takes ages for anyone to say hello or goodbye as everyone has to have a hug and a kiss , OH mother and sister don't like to be touched , his Mam will complain if we don't give her a hug before we leave but it's like hugging a plank of wood you can feel the tension she's ram rod straight , His sister doesn't even like if you touch her arm as your passing , she will tolerate her young grandchildren sitting next to her but she isn't a hug person with them although she does love them . I always ask new people if it's ok to hug as some people really don't like it , we as a family will hug anyone who let's us 😊

[Avo]

We are, but my dear MIL now departed was most certainly not, we got a kiss on Christmas Day that was about it! We kiss to say hello and goodbye, and hug for no special reason .... love it!

[Gemini]

I really am! My family are too.
SIL, my DD1s huband, really isn't. It has taken him years to get used to our warm and loving touchy feely family!

[Enfys]

I think this all stems from how your family was when you were a child. Sad to say, because of their own childhood, neither of my parent were especially touchy feely. I think my mother would have been had she had a loving family upbringing but sadly she and her twin brother were orphans from the age of 9 and were farmed out to different relatives until they were 14 and started working. My fathers parents were typically Victorian and very unapproachable; because of this I think they both found it very hard to express their feeling, especially my father and I don't remember him ever giving me a kiss or a hug, he just didn't know how. Consequently I grew up being the same and it wasn't until I met DH's family and his mother gave me a hug that I realised other family's were different to mine. At first I found it very uncomfortable when my in laws and extended family kissed each other hello,and goodbye and it took me ages to do the same. I tried very hard to be more loving toward my own children and I think I succeeded because they are both keen to hug etc, although DD holds back a bit more. However, all 3 GC are very happy to give hugs and kisses which I love to get, just wish my own parents had been able to have that lovely feeling when that happens. Don't get me wrong I know my parents loved me but they just weren't very demonstrative.

[Libra Gran]

Depends with my own family yes, but in laws and friends not so much. My parents were never very demonstrative, so it stems from them I suppose. What I cannot stand is false affection, DD with the dreadful MIL always, always insists on air kissing , you know that mamama kind of kiss to the side of your face ugh horrid. So insincere.

[ZIZI]

We are kissy people. My family all were although not so much mother with me as she didn't like me. Husband's family were not but he definitely is and the boys will always kiss him hello and hug him. The grandchildren are also affectionate although the boys are starting not to like kissing and cuddling from grandma if they can be seen!! Husband and I are touchy feely. Always kiss goodbye and hello. Almost all of our friends are kissy people and like Libra I cannot stand the false air kiss thing. Funny thing is that when I go to sites there are so many people who come up to me and give me a kiss and even my chief executive does! You can see the people looking over when we are at events and he kisses my cheek and it is a kind of "who the hell is she that our CEO is kissing her??" I must attract kissy people........

[Gemini]

All credit to you Enfys, for being loving, and encouraging your children to be, despite your upbringing.

I am rather strange in that I dislike shaking hands. If I really have to I will, if the situation dictates. I have been known to bypass an outstretched hand and give a hug, saying that I don't do handshakes!
We are all different I suppose. Handshakes though do transfer far more germs than a hug

The false air kissing is awful!

[ZIZI]

I have to shake hands in my job but I detest the limp, slimy, weak ones. I cringe especially when sometimes the person (usually a man) makes a comment about my name. It happens often and I don't think there is a single comment I haven't heard before. I usually respond to the obvious "T by name T by nature" or "are we going to have to have trouble with you with a name like that?" By putting on a fixed smile and ignoring the comment. They wouldn't make a comment about someone called Mohammed by referring to his (supposed) religion or a disabled person by making a thoughtless remark about their condition. Having said all that I don't like the bone crusher hand shakes either, I think there is no need and the person doing it must know what they are doing and it is a form of bullying. My opinion.

[Oma]

OH,s family as I say are not huggers apart from Brian and his brother they both give hugs and kisses to anyone who will have them despite being brought up with a mother that didn't even hold their hands , OH,s brother almost crushes me to death he gives big kisses and even bigger bear hugs , I don't like air kissing either why bother if you going to do that .

[Bizzy Lizzy]

I don't really have a preference on this one. If someone I greet is a hug and kiss enthusiast then I am happy to go along with that and if they keep their distance but greet warmly just the same then I respect that too and am happy not to hug and kiss them. What I really hate is when a man who is little more than an acquaintance kisses rather too enthusiastically or too near my mouth - yuck. I always hug and kiss my children even though they are grown up and also the grandchildren but GS1, now 11, doesn't seem so enthusiastic these days and I would never do this when collecting him from school as I think it could embarrass him. Kisses on the cheek can be very confusing as sometimes it is one and sometimes it is two and my Francophile friend tend to give three kisses. Difficult to remember who does what.

[Elisi]

Not touchy-feely at all. I'm physically rather inclined to just hug and kiss very close friends and family. Like Zizi I hate weak limp handshakes.

[Daisy]

As a family we love our hugs and kisses, and DIL2 (whose mother definitely is like Oma's MIL) loves it because it's something she never experienced before she met my DS. Sometimes she comes to me saying she needs a hug. Like Enfys, I made sure my sons got lots of hugs and kisses as they were growing up because I never got them from my own mother. But it was a different era then - my parents' parents were Victorians and a stiff upper lip was expected.

when I'm meeting someone new I try to guess what they'd prefer - handshake, kiss, etc - because I don't mind. the first time I went to France as a teenager I was fascinated by how a group of friends would all shake hands every time they met - it was a very brief touching of hands but rigorously observed even by quite young children.

I'm no keen on limp handshakes - I'd rather they didn't bother if they can't do it with a bit of enthusiasm.

[Clover]

I tend to wait and see what the other person is going to do before I commit Of course with Children and GC it's different and especially GC it's hard to keep my hands off them sometimes.

[Elisi]

Gosh, Daisy, sounds very much like my upbringing. My mother was physically cold, my grandparents very Victorian X