Becoming a mother

[Gemini]

We have talked about becoming grandparents, but maybe not about becoming mums ourselves, without which event we would not be grandmothers!

How was first time motherhood for you?
Was it a longed for and well planned event, or a total surprise?
An easy pregnancy and labour, or a hard road?
Did you find looking after your first baby came naturally?
How did you adjust to having someone to look after 24 hours a day?

I did not plan to become pregnant at 21 and still at college! I had always wanted children however, and was in love with my boyfriend, so once we got over the shock we were happy.
I was terribly sick during the first 14 weeks and lost about a stone. After that the pregnancy progressed normally until at 39 weeks I had pre eclampsia and was told to come into hospital the following day to be induced. That was my OH's 21st birthday. We couldn't afford to celebrate anyway, but it made for quite a tense evening worrying about the following day!
Labour was short but painful. 8 hours of constant strong contractions.
DD1 weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces. I had hoped for a little girl so was thrilled. I expected to love her, but I didn't expect to feel so proud of myself! I felt that I had done the most amazing thing in the world and had newfound respect for all mothers who had done this amazing thing!!
I had looked after babies since I was 14, so I knew how to change nappies and look after a baby. All that came naturally to me.
Breastfeeding wasn't as easy as I expected and I only fed her for around 6 weeks (I fed babies 2 and 3 for a lot longer!)
Being woken for night feeds took a lot of adjusting to, especially in the cold dark February nights.

We lived with my in laws in a flat in Middlesex when she was born, moved to a caravan in Sussex when she was 5 weeks old, then to my parents in Yorkshire when she was 10 months old.
Looking back now considering how young I was, and the upheavals we had during her first year (we finally bought our first home when she was 16 months old) I think I did an amazing job.
She was a healthy, very happy and easy baby, which made my job much easier of course!

[Oma]

Mine was a total shock ,
I was 16 , a baby myself really but even then after we got over the shock I was thrilled ,
I had the easiest of pregnancy's no sickness ( not like the night and day kind I had with my DS)

I was taken into Hospital at full term as like Gem I had Pre eclampsia and induced the next morning .
1. 40 minutes later with two pains she was born in the middle of visiting , much to the shock of the nurses myself and everyone around me ,
She literally popped out 7lb 12oz and beautiful

We lived with my Mother for quite a while and she was a really good baby , The sleepless nights were a shock to the system to start with but thankfully didn't last long.

Like Gem I expected to love her but I wasn't prepared for the overwhelming love I felt , I kept looking at her not believing she was mine .
The pride I felt was another thing I didn't expect .

It was different with my DS after a 8 year Gap my pregnancy was awful , Night and day sickness for the whole 9 month ,
27 hours of constant pain resulting in forceps delivery with severe blood loss , I had several transfusions , He was 6lb 12oz
He was a nightmare child who had no sleep in him and a wicked Temper

Screamed day and night , This went on for 5 long years then he became the most loving lovely little boy , he seemed to change overnight

I don't regret being a very young mother , Yes I didn't have the youth my friends had but I didn't miss what I never had and I had my DD that was more important

Without my Children I wouldn't have my beautiful Grandchildren

[Gemini]

I don't regret being a young mother either Oma. I was glad my DDs didn't follow my example and had more youth and more money though!
I do think being so close in age to them makes for close relationship. Another bonus is becoming grandparents when young enough to be a hands on grandparent. My DDs are less likely to have that, becoming mothers later.

[Nanto2girls]

I was 17 the first time i was pregnant, but pleased about it. Sickness from beginning to end.
Due date was May. Well May came and went. Midwife kept telling me i had got my dates wrong, but when he was born,she said he was well overdue.
He was born after a 2 hour labour, weighing 7lb 4oz.
3 years later number 2 was on the way.
Only had sickness from the 2nd month to the 4th month.
Midwife kept saying he was a very small baby, and told me to be prepared to go into hospital.
He was 4 days overdue and weighed 7lb 10 oz after just over 5 hours labour. So much for a small baby.
Both babies were born at home.

[Daisy]

How lovely to have a baby at home, Nanto.

Unlike everyone else so far, I was an old mother. OH and I had been married 5 years but had only known each other for 10 months before we got married. We were busy with life, OH was studying, we were playing in a band and both had full-time jobs. We took the decision to try for a baby with me totally believing it would be months before I became pregnant. I was so wrong - DS1 was on the way within the month. I had a trouble-free pregnancy - no sickness, but I did go off tea and coffee. The Sunday before he was born I mowed the lawn - with a push mower, and it was a huge lawn. That evening I went into labour, and was very bemused to find myself in an ambulance within half an hour!

It wasn't an easy birth - I was on a drip, and it was a forceps delivery. DS1 weighed in at 8lbs 7 oz and was one day early. I was just 29. He was in special care for 3 days and I wasn't allowed to feed him, which I was very upset about.

Two years 9 months later DS2 arrived but I had to be induced and he was 11 days late. He was 8 lbs, so I'm glad he wasn't any later!! But at least I was able to feed him and weaned him straight on to solids.

The most amazing thing was both babies slept through the night from about 2-3 weeks old. I knew nothing about babies or motherhood, so didn't realise how lucky I was.

[Plantaholic]

As my OH was quite a bit older than me, we decided to start a family early. My first, a boy was supposed to be born at home but as I had a bit of bleeding I was rushed to the local hospital. I was in a side room for some time in a bit of pain but the nurses had a difficult delivery in the room next to me so I think they dosed me up. When they brought him to me the next day, I checked him over and found he had a strange foot, They came and told me that he had a club foot and it was put into plaster. For the following 8 months I was picked up by ambulance along with other mothers and taken to the local hospital for the foot to have the plaster and bar it was fixed to removed, they cleaned it up and replaced it after the babies had a kick. This was removed when he was about 8months. In the January, after he was a year old our daughter was born so I had 2 babies under 15 months. Not easy as my OH was not really a hands on dad until they were older but I did find a lovely lady who did some cleaning. The pregnancies were not too bad but something always went wrong with the births. DD was a facial birth and was born at home, long and painful.

[Sunshine]

I had my first baby at 18. My husband was 20. Being a mum had been my ambition for as long as I could remember. I had my second baby 21 months later and the third 17 months after that. All the pregnancies and deliveries were trouble free. It never occurred to me that it would be any different. I fell in love with each of them as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I loved being a mummy. My life felt complete. Although life was very busy, I was immensely happy and contented. I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

[Daisy]

Sunshine - I was always in awe - you made motherhood look so easy and always knew what to do. I always felt I was winging it.

[Lizzie48]

Mine is a different story, at 19 years old I was an unmarried mother, my parents accepted this, the boyfriend at the time was very neutral, the social services wanted me to have the baby adopted, I even remember the name of the lady, Miss Fowler! DS1 was born in the hospital, an easy birth and love at first sight. The dreaded Miss Fowler even visited me in the maternity ward saying that I could never bring a child up on my own. That "child", my first born, is the one to give me the gift of the 2 grandchildren. I coped, I don't suppose it was easy but at the time you don't think about it. DS1 had whooping cough as a few weeks old, his nephew had it and our doctor said he would be immune at his age, he wasn't. I was told that when he coughed I had to sit him up or he could choke, I did this, but, he played on this, as young as he was, each time he wanted attention he would cough!! Especially during the night, in fact he did this for the first 3 years of his life until someone here told me to just leave him to it so I did.

My parents thought the world of DS1 and I must have broken their hearts when I moved here.

I met my first husband a year later, married and moved here to Holland. DS2 was born 18 months later, he was born at home, again an easy birth and a very easy baby to have. No sleepless nights at all, he was a very peaceful baby. Looking back I have been very lucky with my children, I still am.

[Gemini]

Thank goodness you made that choice and kept your baby Lizzie xx

[Oma]

Lizzie well done ,
we didn't get married till my DD was 7 so I was a unmarried mother all that time and mostly on my own ,
B being in the Army but like you I had a wonderful mother who adored my DD she was a great support .

Now I bet you cant imagine ever being told to give up your son , just think what you would have missed out on xxxx

[Lizzie48]

Thanks Oma, so we almost went through the same!! I know when he was born there were 2 young girls in the same ward, they had their babies adopted, I don't think I could have gone through life knowing that he was growing up with another family. Imagine my GD's being someone else's!! It maybe wasn't easy but we coped. As my mother said "these things are sent to try us"!!!

[Gemini]

Having good family support makes all the difference Lizzie and Oma. It must have been so hard in those days to bring up a baby alone without it.
When I became pregnant my mum was very keen for us to get married. I know if we hadn't and had parted my parents would have supported me in keeping the baby though, so I was lucky too.

[Oma]

My mother was shocked but she said , you wont be the first or the last and during the war there were many babies born out of wedlock , so its nothing new .

[Nanto2girls]

Lizzie,so pleased things worked out well for you.