Cutting down working hours

[ZIZI]

Following on from Elisi's post regarding relaxation. I find it hard to completely relax. Husband and I will be mortgage free end of November and have decided to get things done in the house like new double glazing, new boiler etc. Once all that is done we have talked about me cutting down my hours.

Problem is that I find it difficult to turn off. I look at my emails for work all the time (even when we were recently away), I worry constantly if I have an event coming up (which I do on the 15th May). Husband says, quite rightly, that if I am going to cut down my days I need to cut down my everyday involvement. He says there is no point in getting three days wages if I am still giving seven days labour. I know he is right but how do I do that when I have spent 15 years doing the same thing?

Oh dear. I don't really do a lot outside of work except with the little people and husband and he works shifts so I do spend a lot of time on my own so working kind of fills the time. I do not have the patience for card making, knitting, crochet or things like that. I can do all of them and relatively well but after a while I just get bored.

Not asking for sympathy or solutions just venting a tad ........

[Qwerty]

You need to cut hours at some point Zizi find other things to do on your time off and hopefully then you wont be checking up on things, financially you get accustomed to less money none of us know whats round the corner, my sis in law and her OH worked into their 60's when the cut off point was 60 and 65 lots of money in the bank and by the age of 65 they had both died get those hrs knocked down if you can afford to and persue another interest

[Nanto2girls]

Agree with Qwerty, you work so hard and you are due for some relaxation.

[Libra Gran]

Well my reduced hours have just begun,and honestly ZIZI I am already loving it,I know I am a few years older than you but really from my point of view I have a husband 11 years older so naturally I want to spend every spare minute with him.Who knows what's around the corner. I've worked hard all my life,made provision for our retirements and now it's my time. I can honestly say I can find plenty to occupy my time, can't wait for my bus pass to arrive and then we will be off visiting places and markets etc without it costing a fortune in petrol and the stress of busy roads. I think our bodies start to tell us when enough is enough.

[Gemini]

My OH retired last February a few months before her 60th birthday. State pension is years ahead, but there is more to life than money.
She hasn't had a single days boredom! She plays golf, she enjoys DIY and gardening. We enjoy lying in in the morning rather than being ruled by the alarm clock, lazy days at home and days out. She wouldn't go back to work for any money, and I would hate it if she did!
As Libra says Zizi, you need some sort of occupation (s) to help fill the time. You may adjust and enjoy your shorter working hours more than you think!

[Plantaholic]

Maybe you need to move to a more rural place and offer your skills to a charitable company. Perhaps if you lived in a property where you could wander into the garden with a coffee, or in your case something with bubbles and a good book, you might be able to relax and not feel you should be rushing about.

[Elisi]

I think you could write a book Zizi and I think your body, mind and spirit will tell you when it is time to slow down

[Daisy]

Zizi - I'm over 10 years older than you and I've been through the sort of process you're contemplating. I decided to leave teaching when I was 56 - for me that was just 4 years before retirement, but I'd given my heart and soul to my job and had run out of steam. It was obviously a financial hit for us but I truly felt another 4 years would have wrecked my health. Like you my job had occupied my waking life, and some of my sleeping life too. I knew I wanted to do something else but also knew I had no energy to make it happen while I was still working at College. I thought maybe I'd look for a couple of part-time jobs that gave me a bit of variety (I've got a very low boredom threshold) but had no idea what. I spent that summer thinking about things, still undecided, and on impulse enrolled for a photography course in the September - something I'd always loved but never had time to pursue seriously. I discovered a real passion for portrait photography and spent 10 happy years behind the camera. It never felt like work!

I'm sure if you have the time and energy to think about your future you will also find something that you love doing - you won't be sitting by the fireside in your rocking chair, I promise you. But it will take a lot of the stress out of your life and give you mental and emotional space. That initial step is a bit scary and I certainly went through a period of wondering who I was, but gradually things sorted themselves out, and I'm sure they will for you, too. xx

[ZIZI]

Maybe you need to move to a more rural place and offer your skills to a charitable company. Perhaps if you lived in a property where you could wander into the garden with a coffee, or in your case something with bubbles and a good book, you might be able to relax and not feel you should be rushing about.

problem with that suggestion Plant is that husband does not drive due to licence being taken away because of glaucoma. I like where we are because everything is, within reason, driving distance including the grandchildren. The other potential problem is that I currently work within the charitable sector and that is one of my stresses, not letting people down. We do have a nice garden but it does not relax me mostly because it is too bruddy windy and cold most of the time and also I am not the gardener in the family. If you are married to a trained horticulturalist you soon discover that you are a complete idiot in the garden even if you don't think you are!

Elisi I would love to write a book, In fact did when I was much younger but that is not, in my opinion, the answer.

[Daisy]

Zizi - I think your post ^ above is saying what I felt when I gave up teaching. You are so immersed in your current role (as I was) you don't have the emotional or creative space to see an alternative way of life. It's a huge leap of faith to launch yourself into the unknown but you're a brave a positive lady and when the time is right you will do it - and you will find what you're looking for, even if you don't know what it is at the moment.

Perhaps you needs to be a little more selfish and think about what you (and OH) really want and persue that.

[Plantaholic]

Very sensible advice from Daisy.

[Skye]

Zizzi I took voluntary redundancy/retirement in January and to be honest it has been really weird after 20+ years in full time work. What do you do with your time? And the social aspect of work not to mention the (very) reduced income? I toyed with the idea of doing charity work but so far turned down a couple of positions as they were posts that were funded or should have been funded by the local authority in any case. Now I've finally been contacted by an animal shelter, not funded by any bodies, where I could provide some admin support, which is the job I like. If I'm going to work for nothing, it has got to be a worthwhile cause! Going for a chat with them next week...

[ZIZI]

Skye since my company seconded me I have all but lost the social aspect of my work. I am office less and generally speaking work from home. I go to site offices when I need a meeting space but all of our offices a squeezed for space and there are very few hot desks. I also don't see the point of travelling up to town just to be in an office when I can do the same thing from home although of course I do miss the banter.

I think it is really the secondment and the feeling of walking through treacle in doing it that has made me feel I want to cut down and also that I am concerned about what I am going to back to when my secondment finishes at the end of October, well mid November as we will be going on holiday immediately after the secondment.

[Guest]

I can sympathise. Work can become all consuming. I'm a decade older than you and I continued in full time work until I was 65 and part time at the university until this last term. My reward is de net pension but those last years were hard work. I'd advise talking stock of what interest you. The university of the third age has branches everywhere and you will probably meet some likeminded people. Alternatively look for organisations like Rotary which do excellent charitable work and also have a good social programme. Gresham College do interesting lectures, like them on FB and all details will pop up. Is there a local forum? There's often a few very good good groups who get involved in local affairs, or you could start one. I could introduce to our coordinator who set ours up about 18 months ago and it's very successful. The other think you (we) could do, is to really get to know London. There are so many things to do and explore. Subscribe to The Londonist on your email and everyday there are scores of things going on, you're spoilt for choice. I retire from the Bench in October and that's on my 'to do' list.

[Shemadee]

If you work out how to get off the treadmill Zizi let me know so I can pass it on to OH. I am hoping he will retire before too long but I think his "off" switch is faulty!