"The Food Of Love"

[Gemini]

I am at present reading a book I both love and hate in equal measures. Part of me wants to just stop reading it, but I won't. I am just under three quarters of the way through.
It is heartbreaking, but so well written. It is about a normal family whose younger daughter develops anorexia. I can feel the parents stress, fear and pure frustration.
My DD1's best friend suffered from anorexia and bulimia in her teens. It is a condition I struggle to understand. I know it is an illness and not a physical one, but like the parents in this book, I would just want my child to eat, that's all they have to do, eat to save their lives.
This is a very good book, but not a lighthearted story or easy read.
I will be glad when I have finished it, as it is on my mind a lot!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30333119-the-food-of-love

[Oma]

My late sister was Anorexic for 7 years , at one point she was unable to walk because she was under 5 stone ,
Her daily diet was 1 glass of water and half a Apple
We tried everything to get her to eat , it was only when they sectioned her when her weight went below 5 stone and threatened to tube feed her she started to turn the corner , it scared her to think of those tubes being up her nose and down her throat ,
Her hair was falling out as were her teeth , her periods stopped , it was awful
It wasn't a over night recovery ,it took as long to be well as it was to get to that awful stage ,
It was her way of controlling her life after a horrible marriage that was both physical and mental abuse , he ruled everything about her .
She had to go through a lot of therapy and treatment .
Strangely she went the opposite way and before she died was very overweight but happier ,

I couldn't read it it would bring back too many memories

[ZIZI]

I had a breakdown when I was 40 as a result of cancer diagnosis and an accident which left my face mashed. I could not eat, it just made me feel ill to think of eating. I didn’t want to. I lost six stones in four months, mind you I was a big lady, when I got to just under seven stone I had therapy etc. And was, like your sister Oma, threatened with section although fortunately didn’t have to go through that. I did start to eat but didn’t enjoy it and woukd walk miles and miles to make sure I burned off what little food I ate.

Fortunately I got better. I have lost weight recently for some reason, I haven’t been on a diet and actually this week I have eaten loads of chocolate digestives as comfort food but next week I will not do that. Once the packet of choc bikkies has gone I shall not buy any more (well thst is what I am saying at the moment).

for that reason I would not want to read a book like that Gem, too close to home......

[Daisy]

Gem - you can imagine the terror for the parents. We're hard-wired to feed and nurture our children and if they won't eat it must be horrific. I'm feeling quite upset just reading about the book, especially as I've just read a very long thread on a group for parents with children who have ASD/ADHD and related conditions. The lady's 12 year old son tried to kill himself yesterday and CAAMHS didn't want to know, and A&E turned him away - they can't help. It seems mental health services for children are at the back of the queue.

[Gemini]

I will let you know if I feel any more optimistic by the end of the book!

Oma and Zizi, I can understand this wouldn't be a book you would be comfortable to read.
I have never knowingly read a book or watched a film where a character is going to die of cancer - even before mine and OH's experiences. We all have our own level of tolerance for subjects.

[Glammanana]

Gems, I have never read anything in depth about the condition only because I have never had anyone in my family affected by an eating disorder thankfully,what I have noticed in the information I have read over the years is that it is a condition which affects females more than males if I'm correct .

[Gemini]

I just had to read it this morning until I finished it, it was stressing me too much!
An interesting book and an insight into the condition and how it affects family life.
The ending wasn't as bleak as I feared, thank goodness.

I would read something else by this author (after checking it wasn't so traumatic!)

Glamma, it can affect male and female, young and older, but you are right, it is far more prevalent in young females.

[Qwerty]

Some sad stories on here , but we need to know I suppose when it doesn’t come into our life that there are families like Daisy ‘s , Omas and others on here what it’s really like and try to understand the problems they face especially the parents

[Oma]

When my Sister was Anorexic it was back in the 80's when not much was known about it or how to really treat it , but I would hope its better now when these poor people have this illness ,

My sister had the added complication of being Agoraphobic too ,
Our family were at our wits end with her , many tears were shed , my poor Mother couldn't understand it all and was terrified most of the time

We tried Bribery , Anger , Persuasion , in fact everything we could think off , but in the end she had to want to get better , it had to be her who decided when and how she did it ,

[Daisy]

Gem - I'm relieved that the ending was more positive than it might have been. Oma - you're right. Anorexia wasn't well recognised in those days, and no amount of coercion will make someone eat if they don't want to. I remember the first time I had a student who was self-harming, and feeling at a total loss as to what I should or could do. Her friends had told me because they were worried about her mental state, and a very difficult family situation. There was no information available, no help, and I remember sitting down with her form tutor, both of us close to tears, wondering what to do for the best. Now there is a lot more support (but still not enough) for both conditions and it's still a nightmare for everyone involved.