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Safety, and meeting up with someone you first met online.

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    Safety, and meeting up with someone you first met online.

    Several of us here have met online friends for real, and some have gone on to form close friendships.
    As well as several of you lovely lot, I have over the years, met friends from (and I had to think back and count up to get this number) 4 forums.
    I first met online friends in 2001. Two of my local friends I met online, on separate websites. They do not know each other. Once we realised we lived in the same town we eventually met up. One of these friends was a witness at our wedding

    I have good friendships with people on both sides of the Atlantic who I originally met online. I am proof that it works, and it is safe.

    However, as we know that is not the whole story. It worked for me, but it doesn't always work out. It will though, as long as you are careful and cautious and follow a few common sense rules.

    Here are my tips.

    Know the person

    I would never meet up with anyone who had just appeared on this or any other forum. I would want to get to know them online for some time, before taking that next step.

    Ask for a photo (unless you have become Facebook friends, in which case you will probably have seen some)

    For practical reasons, as you will know who you are looking for, and to reassure yourself that they are the gender and age group they say they are.

    Meet in a public place

    Never meet anyone at your home or theirs until you have met them several times and trust them.
    Meeting somwhere public with others around is a sensible precaution.

    Tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting.

    If you are nervous, you could even have a friend or family member at the same cafe at another table, just in case! If you have a worried family member at home, texting to say all is well and the other person is 'kosher' is useful too. Puts their minds at rest!


    All these are sensible precautions which I would advise anyone to follow. However I think they apply more to one to one meetings, rather than the group ones we tend to have. There is truth in that old saying 'There's safety in numbers'!

    My youngest daughter, now almost 30, has a very good friend who she originally met online. This girl R, and my DD met on a Buffy The Vampire Slayer forum when they were 12! R lived in Sheffield and was coming to York with her parents one weekend, so the girls wanted to meet up. They had talked on the forum for some time, and knew each other well and had lots in common. As parents however, no way were we letting our precious daughter out alone to meet someone she met online.
    DD's dad went into York with her, and R's dad turned up with her. Once everybody had chatted and the adults had been reassured, the 2 girls spent couple of hours together before being met by their parents again. A happy ending and a good friendship.
    You can take no risks with children though, and I'm sure it is a far scarier situation now than it was then.
    My GD's school has run E Safety courses for parents and children, which are a very good idea. They cover all types of internet safety and behaviours, including meeting up, or in the case of children, not meeting up, certainly not without parents.
    “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

    #2
    Such a lot of really good information Gems its lovely to hear you have made such good friends,on one of the other forums I am on there is a lady who lives not far from me and she has asked many times to meet up but something keeps stopping me and I can't put my finger on it so am keeping the contact just to the forum.
    My youngest DGS has made many friends across the world with members from his games forum DD keeps a close watch on his contacts and they have all been genuine gamers but as you well know you can never tell she is well up on forums etc and watch's him like a hawk.
    Keep Calm,You're Fabulous

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      #3
      This is all really good, sensible advice, Gem, and I think it's great that both children and parents are being offered e-safety advice via schools.

      But isn't is lovely when we meet up as some of us have done and the only regret is that some of us live so far away we can't do it more regularly!
      "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

      (Marianne Williamson)

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        #4
        If in doubt Don't Glamma, I think you are wise. If I didn't feel totally right about meeting up with someone I wouldn't.
        “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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          #5
          I agree with Gem , go with your gut instinct , don't go ,
          We are so lucky on this forum there isn't anyone I wouldn't like to meet
          Im not fat just 6ft too small

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