What would you do?

[Daisy]

GD1, who was 7 in August, moved up to the Junior school in September.

She adores school and (unlike anyone else in our family) loves studying, learning things, doing her homework etc and always tries really hard to do her best. When she started the school in September she wanted to join an after school club of some sort. She had previously had music lessons, but there wasn't much on offer, apart from sports (not her thing) and 'Performance'. It wasn't long before she realised she didn't enjoy this at all. It's quite possibly because as the youngest year group, she and her classmates have only got 'chorus' dancing parts in the production they're preparing for. No speaking lines, no singing parts and no technical responsibilities.

Anyway, her mum and dad said that, as she had enrolled for it she should keep at it until the end of term. So every Monday she gets stressed about this activity and really isn't enjoying it. This Monday when she was getting ready for bed she ended up in floods of tears and very upset. It appears that she had been pulled out of a science lesson (which she loves) for an extra rehearsal and she missed the chance to do testing of rocks to find out how hard they are - something she had really looked forward to.

So her mum and dad don't know what to do - let her give it up now, or make her stick out the last 3 weeks. She hasn't got a critical role in any way, no lines or anything that would cause a serious problem for the performance group.

I was very cautious as I don't want to take sides, but I think GD1 is so serious about her school work and it's hugely important to her that she does well, that I think I'd put my principles (of seeing things through) to one side.

What do other grannies think?

[Oma]

Oh I agree Daisy don't make her go . It will only upset her more and she could become unsettled in school ,
Josh was going to a gifted club on a Wednesday tea time after school, He hated it ,
DD thought it was a good opportunity for him to get more tutoring they also do visits to various Colleges, Science labs and the likes
He was starting to complain of headaches stomach aches etc every Wednesday , just to get out of going .
DD had to admit it was causing too much upset so allowed him to stop going , he's a lot happier now .
Better she stops now than carry on even just for 3 weeks .

[Nanto2girls]

i think she should stop going. 3 weeks can seem like a long time, if you have to do something you don't like.

[Clover]

I agree She has stuck it out this long and as it’s not a compulsory activity I’d rather have a happy little girl.

[Enfys]

If she’s getting so stressed about it then I think she should give it up. Something like that should be fun for her and it obviously isn’t, and I agree with Clover, far better for her to be happy.

[ZIZI]

Such a shame for her to be so worried. I am with everyone else. Let her leave if she is unhappy. Ben is in a performance group (outside of school) and that was a confidence building ting for him and it has worked but when he felt unhappy with the original group parents switched him to another and he is much happier. No pot tin doing something thst makes the little person unhappy.

[Plantaholic]

I think the same, they should not pull her out of a Science lesson for a rehearsal. I think a letter or conversation with the teacher concerned is needed to get your happy GD back.

[Gemini]

My vote is definitely don't let her go any more. Life is too short for children to be upset and stressed about such things, and it is interfering with other school work which she enjoys.

[Shemadee]

Years ago I would probably have been in the “you must follow through” brigade but nowadays I would say let her leave if she will be happier. No point in her being fretful and anxious in the run up to Christmas.

[Daisy]

Thank you all, ladies for your thoughts. I'm like shem - years ago (ie probably with my own sons) I would have said 'stick it out', but I'm hoping her mum and dad will let her drop out of it.

[aggie]

Well I would try and encourage her to stick it out . Next year her age group will move up to cameo roles , she can look forward to that . Three more weeks and then tbe performance might give her a new perspective . Eldest GS didn,t join the Drama group in first year and missed his chance to be in the School shows , which he now regrets

[Glammanana]

What a shame they pulled her out of a lesson she obviously enjoys she is far too young to be worrying about things like this poor little lamb and enjoying her lessons,mum & dad may be better allowing her to stop the performance coaching for the time being let her rejoin when she is older.

[Daisy]

Aggie - it's a difficult call - and I don't know what her mum and dad are going to do, and I must admit I hadn't thought about next year when she might have a more active role. She's always dancing at home and putting on little performances for anyone who will watch. What a pity your GS didn't get a chance to join the Drama group after the first year. Children of this age don't always understand the implications of the choices they make, and surely it's good for them to try different things. Does your GS belong to any other groups?

Glamm - we assumed because it's an after school activity that it all took place after school. She is a worrier, and a perfectionist - it's not an easy combination for a child her age.

[Avo]

I think it would be kinder to let her drop it as it’s causing so much anxiety.

[Daisy]

Well, her mum and dad have agreed that she can drop the activity, and I think she's very relieved.

She had a very bad start to the day today. She was late for school for the first time ever and was distraught about that, and arrived at school soaked to the skin because of a downpour, plus leaving the puppy for the first time. So I think it was probably the best thing to do.