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The cheek of it!

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    #1

    The cheek of it!

    OH and her brother (there are just the two of them) are not close. He and his wife live less than half an hours drive away but we never see them. Phone calls at Christmas and birthdays is about it.
    They have two grown up married DDs who live in London. One a doctor, one a model.
    The doctor, Niece1 has always made time for us and although we haven't seen them much we have met her 2 little boys several times. The model, Niece2 is lovely and charming when with you, but it's out of sight out of mind with her. We have literally never met her 3 year old son or even been sent a photo of him.

    Yesterday OH's brother phoned her.
    Niece2's OH is in the band McFly who are playing at York racecourse on Saturday night. Was he ringing to offer us free tickets? No.
    He was ringing to ask us to have the 3 year old, who we have NEVER MET for the WHOLE DAY !!!
    So the family can go to the races first the watch the gig
    As it happens we are going on a family day out on Saturday. As OH pointed out to her brother, it's unfair on a child of that age anyway to be fobbed off with people he has never met. We don't know him, he doesn't know us.

    I am still astounded at the cheek of it all. It's a big ask for someone to have a child who is not their own GC all day including putting him to bed, and so unfair to the poor child when he doesn't know us.
    I can't wait to tell my DDs!
    “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
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    #2
    I feel sorry for the poor little boy! Didn't they even think it might not be fair on you and OH and certainly not fair on the little lad. In a way, having the family day planned was fortunate - OH had a genuine reason for not looking after him. But I think what must really hurt is that they don't bother to keep in touch - until they want a favour.
    "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

    (Marianne Williamson)

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      #3
      Exactly Daisy. OH is only family when it suits them .
      Well, as we would do in my family, one of his grandparents can look after him!
      “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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        #4
        Gem, that is so much of a cheek, using you and putting the poor little boy in a sad situation. People!!!!

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          #5
          That's so unfair on both of you and especially the little boy ,
          Can you imagine how upset that little man would be being abandoned with strangers ,

          If they knew about this gig as they would have well in advance then they should have made arrangements with someone the child knows

          Even if you didn't have any plans I can't imagine S agreeing to it .
          Its the cheek also of not being good enough till they need a favour
          Im not fat just 6ft too small

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            #6
            A whole day at the races followed by evening concert is just not something you can do with a 3 year old in the family, unless you have proper pre planned childcare.
            We have no idea why we were asked so late, but you are right Oma, OH wouldn't have agreed anyway, and it would have been me doing the stories, bathing etc as those are always my realm. I would have charged the proper rate if I did it!
            I do worry who will be dragged in now to look after him though.
            “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
            • Likes 1

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              #7
              Gem - that's always the worry isn't it - who will look after the poor little lad. I don't know if you can hire a properly qualified nanny for just one day and evening.

              Sometimes parents don't realise they are no longer free agents once they have children. You have to put the children first.

              "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

              (Marianne Williamson)

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                #8
                Daisy we had heard that although C is a loved and planned for baby, they have found it hard adjusting their lives.

                I know they use a day nanny in London who just works for you when you need her ( if she's free) C has known her since he was a baby though. Anyone local to here would be unknown to him, as we are.
                If we find out what happens I'll report back!
                “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                  #9
                  Gem, that would have been so unfair on all of you.
                  I think they had a nerve for asking.
                  Sometimes I forget to like posts,but that doesn't mean I don't like them.

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                    #10
                    DD2 did paid babysitting for an organisation when she was at uni studying childhood development in Leeds. The sitters were all vetted and generally the children were fast asleep when she got there.

                    Taking on an unknown child for a whole day is not fair on the child or on you both. We took a friend’s daughter with us on a trip to central London (in the days before 24/7 life began)! She slipped my hand and threw herself on to the top of the highest escalator in the tube system and teetered on the top for a few seconds, then in the park she threw her arms around an Alsatian whose horrified handler told us he was a guard dog. Even with a child you have met the unpredictable can happen. Perhaps the child is used to being left with virtual strangers?
                    xx

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                      #11
                      Shem, that must have been two heart-stopping moments! Thank goodness she was ok.

                      Gem, I can understand they are used to a certain lifestyle, and it IS hard to reshape your lives, and I'm very glad they have a regular one-to-one backup up at home. But I still feel sorry for the little boy. I presume his grandparents aren't available (OH's brother and his wife).

                      I seem to remember our generation didn't arrange to do grown up things without making sure arrangements were in place for our children though.
                      "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                      (Marianne Williamson)

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                        #12
                        Daisy, the grandparents are going with them on the day and evening out. Hence us being required for childcare!!

                        My DDs are all speechless about this.


                        Shem, I bet you were glad to give her back! Such a big responsibility taking a child you don't know out.
                        “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                          #13
                          Shem, that always makes me think of when I first came to live here, there was a small shop in one of the streets, they had one child and with them being busy in the shop friends took him to the beach, the poor boy drowned in the sea. They sold up and moved away after it happened, it has always stayed with me, 50+ years, many a child has drowned since but that is always with me.

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                            #14
                            Lizzie, that was so tragic.
                            Sometimes I forget to like posts,but that doesn't mean I don't like them.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Gemini View Post
                              Daisy, the grandparents are going with them on the day and evening out. Hence us being required for childcare!!

                              My DDs are all speechless about this.


                              Shem, I bet you were glad to give her back! Such a big responsibility taking a child you don't know out.
                              Gem - that is what I was wondering. Perhaps we are soppy grandparents, but I know if it was us one of us would do the day session and the other the evening!

                              Lizzie - what an awful tragedy. No wonder it's stayed with you. xx

                              "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                              (Marianne Williamson)

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