I love you

[WeeGranny]

Oh Plant, your words brought a lump to my throat!

I don't say I love you very often, just doesn't come naturally to me. And when I hear people on phones ending their conversations with Love you, it just leaves me cold as it doesn't seem as if they mean it. Just another way of saying Bye. But I'm a miserable old s**, so just ignore me! OH and I do tell each other we love the other and usually have a kiss and a cuddle to go with the words!

I tell DS that I love him when we've been chatting on Skype and will compliment DD on her appearance, and again we often finish phone calls with I love you.

GS tells me he loves me when he's after something and I usually have a fun tussle with him to get a kiss when I tell him.

Can't remember ever telling my DB that I love him but his DD often says it to me. Nor can I recall my parents saying it to me, it was just assumed that they did and I didn't need telling.

We're not really a demonstrative family although I do enjoy a kiss and cuddle when we meet. Used to have a colleague who was very touchy feely and his wife, who was a large bosomed lady, used to greet everyone with a bear hug.Often though about Nurse Gladys and Granville when I got lost in her bosom!!

[ZIZI]

Plant yes that brought a tear to my eye bless you xxx

WG my two grandsons are the same with kisses now. Not if we are alone but if there are any others there I cannot get a kiss, sometimes a little peck on the cheek if I am lucky. Joe however does love a cuddle with his granddad. As soon as husband sits on the sofa I can just flipping get off because it belongs to Joe and Granddad exclusively. Nice to see it though as their house is a bit chaotic but that is not to say they don't get cuddles and love because they do, lots of.

[Oma]

Oh Plant they are the best words ever for you , never to be forgotten . Zizi my Josh and his granddad are like Joe and his granddad he even squeezes into a little gap on the chair to be next to granddad

Brian and his Brother are very close and always hug and kiss when they part , he is 15 yrs younger than Brian but they are a big part of each others life and mine too , Our DS hugs and kisses Brian too and tells him he loves him , more so since Brian`s health issues , our DD who is 42 in the next couple of weeks still sits on her Dads knee when she can

[Enfys]

This has made ver interesting reading. My parents both had difficult childhoods - my mother and her twin brother were illegitimate and I know their childhood was dreadful, can't imagine anyone telling them they were loved and my father's family were typically strict Victorian and I think the same for him, sadly, consequently although I knew my parents loved me I was never told. I didn't hear those words until I met DH and although I did, I couldn't tell him the same. Luckily, he understood why. But I have always found it very difficult to say and it wasn't until the GC came along and they would say it all the time that I could respond. I feel very sad about it but hope my children know how I feel about them but I should make the effort to tell them. Why do I find it so difficult . We do hug, though but even that I only did after I met DH and his family.

[Gemini]

Oh Plant, well how wonderful that you and your beloved husband shared those last words together xxxxxxxx

[Gemini]

Something to think about. If you are the type of person who finds it difficult to tell your DDs and DSs that you love them, why not write it?
A letter, or card, telling them how much you love them and how much they mean to you, will say clearly what you don't put into words.

[Qwerty]

I am very much an "I Love You" person and mean it, this is mainly with the grandchildren. My eldest GD comes in most evenings before she goes to bed and gives me a hug and says I love you GM and I usually reply, not as much as I love you.

I am going to make you cry now by telling you they were the last words my OH and I said to each other before he fell into a coma. He wasn't a very demonstrative person but I think he knew we wouldn't be saying it again

Your right Plant it made me well up but so glad you had both said it, so sad when you think it might be the end phew Plant more food for thought, its awkward though when you are not used to saying it, I am more comfortable saying it, to the g/c for me it seems natural I suppose the more you say it the easier it gets

[Daisy]

Plant - you're right, tears streaming down my face. But it must be an enormous comfort to you to remember that your final words to each other were the most beautiful in the English language. If anyone needs an incentive to say those 3 words to someone, I'm sure you have given it to them. Thank you for sharing such a private moment with us. xxx

Qwerty, Enfys - you could just stop thinking about saying it and do it! I don't mean that in any derogatory way - I'm really saying don't try to rationalise it or think of an occasion to say it just ring them up and say "I was thinking about you and wanted to say how much I love you"' If they were going on that one way trip to Mars you wouldn't hesitate. I wish my mother had told me she loved me, just once would have been enough. x

[Qwerty]

You are so right Daisy when my mum died I read her diaries and in it she said how much she loved me sad that she felt unable to say it too as it has had a knock on effect

[Daisy]

Qwerty - that's why I think it's so important to break that cycle. Just try to let go of that 'block' and say what you truly feel. xxx

[Gemini]

Daisy and Qwerty, you are both very loveable people, your mothers must have loved you, even if the words were not said xxxx

[Daisy]

Gemini - thank you for the vote of confidence. I think she did love me, but I was something of a disappointment and far too lippy!

[Qwerty]

Thanks Gemini I guess she did but sometimes had a funny way of showing it unlike Daisy who says she was a bit lippy I was terrified of her but thanks for the compliment I hope I am lovable

[Libra Gran]

Qwerty I was just like you,but believe me after you say it the first time it get's easier.I remember the first time I said it to one of my sisters,think she was taken aback.But now she says it to me a fter a telephone chat as well,middle sister still struggles as of all of us I think our childhood affected her the most-bless. Plant your words brought tears to my eyes,but how lovely.

[Shemadee]

I can vaguely remember my Dad kissing us all goodbye in the mornings but when their marriage hit the rocks (though they stayed together for 20 odd years) he stopped doing this. My Mum was youngest of 10 and doubt she was ever shown any affection - it just wasn't done then. My Dad and Gran were putting in some bedding plants once and I asked to join them. My Gran said "Leave your Dad to do it. He has green fingers and everything he plants grows beautifully" I was amazed to see tears in his eyes - he told me later it was the only compliment she had ever given him.

MIL actually rebuffed any signs of affection and I don't think she liked to be touched and this has, to some extent, rubbed off on OH. He can cuddle with children when they are small but pulls back a bit once they are older though GS's take no notice and kiss him hallo and goodbye and just plonk themselves on his lap.. He did also say "Love you" to DD2 recently - partly because she has been having such a rough time recently I think. I always tell the children and GSs that |I love them unconditionally and say it at the end of phone calls or visits. I think knowing and being told that you are loved must give you inner strength and confidence. I give my brothers a hug when I see them though think the middle one is a bit hesitant but then if I hugged the others and not him it would seem wrong - my mother used to say he would argue black was white just for the hell of it and it is so true.

I can remember a mother being interviewed after Aberfan - she had clipped her son round the ear before he went off to school and was in such a dreadful state because she would never see him again. This stuck in my mind somehow and made me conscious that you never know what might happen.

When my friend was in her final days with breast cancer she had been in a coma for several days. Her OH was stroking her arm and said "I love you" - she opened her eyes looked straight at him and said "I love you too" - really sad but so important to him in the following months. It must have been the same for you Plant and hopefully brings you comfort.