Such a waste of time

[Gemini]

As I often mention I do a lot for my mum. She will be 91 next month, and it is my job to do it and mostly I don't mind. If I worked full time or had grandchildren every day it would be different, but I don't so I can find time in my week.
Shopping (how one lady who hardly eats and never entertains needs 2 to 3 big bags of shopping bringing every week is a puzzle!) ordering and collecting prescriptions and audio books are my regular tasks, plus buying all birthday cards and Christmas presents. It keeps me busy! With OH's help I also do gardening and some housework for her.

Today for example I need to go to M&S for a token as present, then to the Halifax, in a totally different direction, then to Tesco which is on the way to mums. I often have to go to Wilko too, which is fortunately close to Tesco, same car park. All these for mum.

The thing I am venting about is the banking.
I have POA for mum and do her banking. I set up online banking for her a couple of years ago. I can transfer money across from her savings to her current account and pay bills. I can withdraw cash with the card I have for her account. All this without having to go to the Halifax. So many branches closed and I have to go into town (costing me bus fare or parking fees, and time of course) or to the other side of York, nowhere near where we or mum live. I usually go there as I can park on the street for free.
The annoying thing is I have to go over there to withdraw cash for mum. Not from a machine near me with the card, but from the bank itself with her beloved bank book . This is because she wants her book updated. Once or twice a year I can understand maybe, but this will be every few weeks. Cash out, book updated. The stupid thing is I go out of my way to queue up for cash, to give to my mum, who gives it back to me to pay for the shopping I do for her!!
I could just transfer it across each week from her account to mine then she wouldn't need much cash at all, but she wont accept that.
She just says it's not a though she is asking me to do it every week. True, but it is an extra thing for me to do, and it is so pointless!!
Vent over.

[Clover]

Oh dear Gem ,how annoying and frustrating for you.I’m surprised Bank books are still in existence. Obviously you’ve tried to explain this waste of time to your Mum but she is unfortunately old school . Surely she could consider a twice yearly update. You’re a saint where your Mum is concerned but we’re all getting older and less able or willing to dash about. Would she take notice of your OH or one of your DD s if they had a private chat with her?
You certainly need to rant!

[Nanto2girls]

Gem, i can certainly understand your frustration.
We haven't had any bank books for years.
But, as Clover says,your mum is old school, and getting her to change maybe an uphill task.

[Glammanana]

Oh Gems,your mum sounds so like my late FIL he was so attached to his Midland Bank Book (do you remember them) he insisted that every Saturday morning he went to the bank and put in and drew out money and had the transactions stamped he used to trawl through the book every week to make sure none of the bank staff had made any mistakes he was hilarious really,when we took him on his 1st holiday abroad he brought the dreaded book with him in case he needed money,John didn't have the heart to tell him there where no Midland Banks in Spain.

[WeeGranny]

Gem, you have the patience of a saint and I admire you for it! I would have lost my rag by now I'm afraid.

We still have a couple of Bank Books but they're only ever used for emergencies! I think we can only withdraw a couple of times a year otherwise we get charged for the transaction. Otherwise our money is accessed via the hole in the wall!

I also have a 'running away 'fund which I add to as and when and is definitely not to be used unless by me!

I also try and keep a note at the back of my purse, just in case. My Dad used to do that and I've carried on. Sometimes I forget all about it and it's a nice surprise when you discover it!

[Plantaholic]

That is tough Gemini but it sounds as if your mum is not going to budge over the bank book.

[Oma]

Gem the older they get the more stubborn they are , they live in the past and think you have nothing better to do , my mother used to say " But you have a car "
Well yes but I also have a Job, a family, a house and I lived miles away , B's Mam is the same , she can literally cross the road and pay her Rent in the CO-OP by card and get a receipt but she insists in going all the way into town and into the office with her Rent book ,

[Lizzie48]

It is a lot of work for you Gem , I agree with the others, it is how older people are and won,t change, however, that makes it more difficult for you!

[Gemini]

Yes, she won't change now, I just have to accept it!

[Daisy]

Gem - didn't you try online banking for her at one stage, and she decided she didn't like it and you had to go back to the bank book.

Next time you're in the Halifax ask if they've got any plans to stop issuing passbooks. It might prompt your mum to allow you to go back to online banking for her.

I agree with the others - you are a saint. xx


Oma - does she do this herself? If so it's perhaps a way of getting her out and about.