An Empty Nest

[Daisy]

Plant recently commented that two of her GCs had moved out of their family (Plant's DD's) home in a very short space of time, and her DD was feeling the effect of an empty nest.

Did this happen to you? Were you prepared for it, or did you find it difficult to adjust to no dirty trainers by the door, fridges that didn't empty themselves overnight, less washing, no loud music, etc?

[WeeGranny]

Was quite happy to see my DC leave home and make their way in the big wide world. Trouble was, just as I'd got the house to my liking they came back again, sometimes with partners and sometimes without ! At one point we had 6 adults living here all working at different times, so you never knew who'd be there when you got back home.

[Gemini]

It was a more gradual thing for me.
The age spread between child 1 and child 3 is 12 years.

DD1 went to uni in Scotland for 4 years, than a further years 2nd degree. So I had 5 years to adjust to her being here part of the year, before she then settled in Scotland for a further 10 years or so.

DD2 left too soon at 16, to live with an unsuitable boyfriend. Just as her sister went off to uni so not an easy time. My youngest was only 6 though, so no empty nest at that time. Nothing to do but grit our teeth and ride it out and she of course came back to us eventually. Never to live though. She and her best friend shared for a few years, until DD and her now husband moved in together (We are SO close now, she is the mother of 2 of my GC)

DD3 was at uni for three years, at a uni an hours drive away, so I was able to see plenty of her.
After uni she and her OH moved in with me for 7 months (My ex OH and I had parted by then) I cried when they left, although they moved just around the corner!
I was waiting until this youngest DD was settled in a home of her own before putting the house on the market and moving in with my present OH, so it was a slightly unusual case I suppose. I still missed her though and didn't really want her to leave!

[Gemini]

Was quite happy to see my DC leave home and make their way in the big wide world. Trouble was, just as I'd got the house to my liking they came back again, sometimes with partners and sometimes without ! At one point we had 6 adults living here all working at different times, so you never knew who'd be there when you got back home.

WG, that sounds lovely to me

[Glammanana]

Gems we had similar with DD when she met a not to desirable bloke when she first went to College at 16/17,he is Portugese and the father of my 2 x eldest DGSs but what a charmer he was (and still is) all settled and sorted by the time she was 25 and we have been the closest ever since.
Both my boys left home at 16 to join HMSs but with 6 years between them so the wind down was gradual,however I have never ever managed to get used to my shopping habits even though there are 2 of us now I always over buy "just in case" one of them turn up unexpectedly,we have also experienced the boomaranging of the boys when ever they have broken up with girlfriends but all settled and married off now thank goodness,part of the reason we have a one bedroomed bungalow if any come back we only have space in the garden shed now.

[Nanto2girls]

Our eldest left home at 16 when he went in the army.
When he left the army, he had got back with a girlfriend he had at school.
They got married,but when they split up,he cane back here for 2 years.
Then he rented a house,but has since bought a house,just a 10 minute walk from us.
The youngest left home at 18,to move into a lovely flat.
He moved into house when he got married, but got another flat when they split up.
Never been back since,only for visits.
When the grandchildren came along, it was nice to have the sound of children in the house again.
Now they are grown up, we are back to having the house to ourselves,although they do visit,and the youngest one does stay over.

[Sunshine]

I had a bad case of empty nest syndrome when my two went to uni. My son is 17mths older than my daughter, but they were only an academic year apart. DS took a year out after A levels but DD went straight on to uni, so they both left at the same time. It seemed so very quiet. None of their friends knocking on the door and the phone rarely seemed to ring. Mealtimes were unbelievably quiet but it was nice to have food in the cupboard. They both seemed to eat everything and anything they could find.

[Daisy]

I must have been a terrible mother because I didn't really notice them leaving. Well I did notice, and so did the shopping list, the washing machine and my ears, but like the tide they seemed to ebb and flow.

DS1 went to a local university, but lived there during the week and came home at week-ends for his week-end job. So he was home but working quite a lot of the time. When he'd finished his 3 years he came back home with his then girl-friend who was still at uni - but by then we'd moved to a smaller house. Then when she'd finished her course they got a house together and he moved out but a lot of his stuff stayed behind!

DS2 went to university much further away, and only came home for holidays, but had a holiday job about an hour away from here so he was out a lot. He loved being at uni and I thought he would stay in that city after he left, but he came home. And stayed for about 3 years until he cashed in on a 100% mortgage offer from the bank and moved out for the last time.

I was working long hours at this time, and I have to say, much as I missed them, I quite liked having the house to ourselves for the very first time in our married lives, as my mother had lived with us for the first 12 years we were married, and by then we had had the children.

[Qwerty]

My eldest a son went to Hull uni and came back after his education there and it wasn’t the best thing for us , he had grown into not so pleasant a person who liked the the odd tipple he left home at 35 !!!!! I thought he would never settle down , my youngest a daughter never wanted to go to uni just did her A levels and got a job as a civil servant , she didn’t leave home till she was 25 so I don’t think I felt the empty nest syndrome it was more of a “ when are you going to move out “ syndrome 😂

[Daisy]

Qwerty - I've 'liked' your post for the relief you felt when your chicks did fly the nest. You must have looked after them rather too well.

[Qwerty]

👍🏻 Thanks Daisy

[Gemini]

One of my friends is like you Qwerty! 2 of her 3 kids , in their 30's still at home.
The DD has a baby, is supposedly with the father, but hasn't actually been home since the baby was born ( months ago) but baby and DD still at my friend's house!!

[Plantaholic]

What complicated lives some people lead.

[Grauntie Mag]

Plant, you are right.
Many of our friends have had children move back with their partners for one reason or another, (moving house etc) but then OH and I did just that. We stayed with my parents for a year when we moved from North to South.