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    #1

    Daughter in Law.

    Afew weeks ago I mentioned that DIL is returning to work at the end of this week and that DS had mentioned the child minding/nursery arrangments they where putting in place I was expecting to have little one for half a day DS have her for one day and nursery the other day.
    Last week I had a serious rethink and thought £84 a day for nursery was a big chunk of her salary (she is going back for 16hrs) so rang DS and said that I would offer to have baby for the Friday at their home so baby would not fret in a strange home and to save them this large amount in nursery fee's, this is the D.I.L that is very off hand with us all the time and rings us to tell us what she wants as presents for baby ! know that after speaking to my son about the offer from us she has not had the politness to let us know if she wants to take up the offer how impolite is she ?
    DD has told me not to offer again even if the have an emergency for child care but I think that will cut off my nose to spite my face and she is the type to stop visits.
    Keep Calm,You're Fabulous
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    #2
    Your DD is quite right Glamm, you have made the offer it is up to her now.
    What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare

    Comment

      #3
      It was a very kind offer Glamm to look after the baby. I would leave it at that. You have made the offer, the ball is in her court now. If you try to ‘push it’ all be it for the right reasons, she may resent it. She may see it that you think she can’t provide for the baby’s needs. Just respect her wishes and keep your fingers crossed xx
      Always face the sunshine and the shadows fall behind you.

      Comment

        #4
        The thing that is bugging me is the fact she never got in touch to either accept or refuse the offer,thanks but no thanks would have sufficed and I would have understood without question its just the no response that is strange.
        Keep Calm,You're Fabulous

        Comment

          #5
          It is very kind and considerate of you to offer Glamma.

          I agree with you, all you want is some sort of acknowledgement!
          Yes please, No thank you, or Thank you can you give us a day or so to talk it over? are all acceptable responses.
          Ignoring you is definitely not.
          “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

          Comment

            #6
            Having read about your DiL and the problems you've had with her in the past, I'm not really surprised that she hasn't had the decency to reply to your very kind offer of extra help Glam.She sounds a right Madam!
            Did your son let you know how they feel about this offer ?

            Perhaps now that the child care arrangements are in place, they don't want to change them and they may have to pay fees to the nursery of they break the contract. Maybe she doesn't want anyone spending time in their house without either her or your DS being there. Who knows?

            Am playing devil's advocate here, but if I were you I'd let them get on with it and not be available too often for emergencies etc

            It is upsetting especially when it was such a kind offer.
            Believe you can and you're halfway there.
            Theodore Roosevelt.

            Comment

              #7
              If I was your DIL I’d be biting off your hand to take your incredibly kind and generous offer.
              However I can understand the lack of acknowledgment is very hurtful. Your DD is right,the ball is in her court.Would you still do the half day?

              Comment

                #8
                After you making the kind offer,i don't know how she can be so impolite at not replying.
                i agree with your DD,leave it with DIL now.
                And, she will never be able to say you didn't offer.
                Sometimes I forget to like posts,but that doesn't mean I don't like them.

                Comment

                  #9
                  She’s probably trying to work out what your ulterior motive is assuming that your brain is as devious as hers! That and torn up over being mean to you and saving herself a quite significant sum of money! Sad and so unnecessary!
                  xx

                  Comment

                    #10
                    The little one will not be coming on the half day after all DS will be organising a extra half day into his rota so he can have her,I think she thinks anyone (not just me) is capable of looking after her only them and the nursery staff.I'm not worrying about it anymore to be honest. Thanks for all your kind responses.
                    Keep Calm,You're Fabulous

                    Comment

                      #11
                      No, don't worry about it Glamma. It's her loss not to have her little one looked after by someone who loves her for half a day.
                      “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Glamm - you're a kind and loving Grandma, and I'm sad for you and your little one because I'm sure you'd have a lovely time together. Hopefully one day DIL will realise that family support is invaluable in every way. xx
                        "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                        (Marianne Williamson)

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