Putting It In The Box - until you can deal with it.

[Gemini]

This is a very useful technique if you can master it. I can't always, and I don't always remember to. When I need it and I can though, it is a lifesaver.

The Box is of course, imaginary. You picture the sort of box you want, from plain cardboard to a lavishly decorated chest. It's your box, you choose it. It needs at least a lid, if not a lock and padlock.
Thoughts which are worrying or upsetting you, but which you can do nothing about, go into this box. The box (in your mind) is closed and sealed and put away. under a bed, on shelf, in a cupboard. When the time comes to think about the topic again, you can go back and retrieve it from the box and examine it. It will be there in the box safely kept for as long as it needs to be, so you don't have to worry about it anymore while it is in there. Sometimes while the worry is in the box, you find you don't need to worry about it anymore, in which case open the box and let it go. Other times you will need to get it out and face it, when the time is right.

When I was undergoing my surgery and appointments I had a worry about OHs health. I knew I could not deal with it then, I had to put myself first, so I successfully put it in the box. It tried to surface a couple of times, but I put it firmly back and closed the lid! I have been able to let it go completely now.

This week I have for the first time since my diagnosis felt overwhelmed by my current situation. This worry is now in that box. It tries to surface at night, but I think BOX, very firmly and back it goes.
This may sound a little weird, but when you are in the right frame of mind it can work and works well.
Have any of you put your worries and fears into a box?

[Plantaholic]

That is what I do Gemini, how strange. Mine is like a safe and has a key, things don't always stay put so I pop it back in again. It is always when I am trying to get to sleep that worrying thoughts keep popping into ones mind.

[Oma]

I have a sort of box too it's sort of on a shelf at the back of my mind , anything I feel is overwhelming me gets shoved there till I have time to deal with it , Things I know I can do nothing about but worries me are no good rattling around my mind so they are sent there , B,s health and when things are a bit dicey with him could send me over the top so again off it goes to that shelf , often I come back to it and the problem is solved so that as you say Gem can go, I believe it's a safety valve and works well for lots of people , we should have a memory pool like in Harry Potter just draw it out with our wands and store it in there 😀

[Gemini]

Plant and Oma, I think this shows we have our own good ways of dealing with stress and worries and almost 'counselling' ourselves.

[Mimi]

Mine is a room. the door is firmly closed . One day that door will be opened...when I am strong enough to deal with the consequences of the inevitable fall out

[Clover]

I too do something similar.Just say to myself "I'll forget that for a bit" Also when I wake up and a worry springs straight into my mind I think"Just get through today "
I think we all have to have some sort of release or bolt hole.

[Grauntie Mag]

I have a box too! I've had mine a very long time and it is the only way I stay sane.

[Gemini]

I bet we didnt have these rooms, safes or boxes when we were younger. One of the compensations of growing older maybe. Knowing yourself and finding ways to stay sane, as Grauntie says!

[Oma]

I remember I worried a lot when the children were young about silly things when I look back but at the time seemed the end of the world ,Then I thought to myself could I change it ? Fix it ? Make it go away ? If the answer was no then no point in fretting . Put it away deal with what was going on then worry about tomorrow when it came . My Sister thinks I'm quite hard hearted because I don't weep and wail or cry in front of anyone , it's not that it's just I have my own way of coping , I cry when I'm alone or in the shower and sometimes I won't cry at all as if I did I wouldn't stop and that's no good for anyone , so that safety shelf is my sanity 😊

[Pearl5]

Sounds like a great idea, sadly I ain't used this "Box" don't know if the lid would shut at the minute.....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I think I might use this box for certain things because I can, but how do you use the box when the "problem" is physically sitting in front of you and is a child, if there is a box for this I will certainly use it, cos it is driving me insane, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and it was proved yesterday, I am turning into what appears to be hard faced, but can break down in the shower or something too, then compose myself so nobody knows, i rang OH today because he went away with his 3 mates fishing, he don't even like fishing... he is back tomorrow, rang him today and when he answered his phone he said "hi hun what's wrong" i think he was surprised when i said "nothing"... think i need 2 different boxes, i for stuff i can put away and 1 stuff i need to deal with or will definatley go insane....

[Pearl5]

Gem i do use the box just never realised but going back to a previous thread realise this is in the box...i think i am one of those people that have to say it out loud and get it off my chest to go in the box, think i will try to just put it in the box and stop appearing as a moany Minnie,,,,,.now just to put the other in there, now that i do not know if i can...

[Gemini]

Some things need dealing with and confronting straight away Pearl, it would be pointless putting them in the box! It is for doubts and worries which are getting us down and occupying every thought, but, for the time being at least, we can do nothing about.

[Daisy]

Gem - what an interesting thread. It's made me think!!

I'm lucky I'm not a great worrier anyway - things will happen or things won't happen. If I am worried about something, I tell myself I'll deal with them when they happen but I spend a few minutes thinking about a method of dealing with the problem, then I can forget about it until it rears its ugly head because I have decided how to react to it. But of course, it often doesn't happen!

If I'm worried about something that I know will happen I try to think 'the other side of it', so if the bad thing is say, next Wednesday, I tell myself by Thursday it will all be over and concentrate on Thursday. If that makes sense!

Another thing that works for me is asking myself 'what's the worst that can happen, and how would I deal with it'.

Pearl - I think talking about what's worrying you is fantastic - please don't see it as moaning.

I would actually find it quite hard to use the mental imagery of a box or room - but if it works for you I think it's a brilliant strategy.

I was brought up not to cry in public, and in fact I don't often cry for myself. But other things affect me - like that awful murder of the 7 year old girl earlier this week. I couldn't even read the newspaper report of it. And yesterday a friend was telling me about a very moving true film she had seen and we both ended up in tears.

[Gemini]

Interestingly, in a long text conversation with DD1 yesterday, I was telling her about feeling a bit better as I had 'put stuff in a box'. She was amazed, as she handles things in precisely the same way. She has to mull over them, and depending what it is be unhappy for a day or 2, then she visualises a box, herself firmly closing the lid on the problem and putting it away!

Your ways of dealing with things are very good Daisy, and most importantly, work for you.

[grannyjules]

Just catching up here.
I too have a box, seems like I've had it forever. I used to use it mainly at night when my worries were keeping me awake. I'd just say, "That's it for tonight I've worried enough." I then found it easy to switch off and go to sleep.
This year I've found my troubles coming in the shower with me , every morning. So I bought a radio and sang instead.
Now for the moment there's only me in there.