Raising a gender neutral child

[Gemini]

This is also known as raising a binary child.
Parents who choose this route prefer their child to be known as neither male nor female.

There is such a child in GS2's (reception) class at school. My GS thinks it is a girl, as glittery hairlslides in long hair and pink coats are worn. My DD knows that anatomically it is a male child as the mother refers to it as He on the school FB chat. The name is the name of an animal, and certainly is a more male sounding one in my opinion.

Their child their choice.
I certainly approve of bringing up children with freedom to wear what colours they choose and play with any toys and persue any activities they choose, regardless of gender.
My GS1 had a phase (which he soon outgrew) of wanting to wear a dress. None of us commented at all and he was allowed to.
My GD only wears trousers or shorts with tights under for school. She's feminine in lots of ways, but hates dresses,and 'Girly' things like unicorns! She loves ballet - and karate.

In our family we all agree on giving the children freedom outside of traditional gender stereotypes.

Sending a child to school with there being no clear idea of whether the class mate is a boy or girl doesn't really seem right to me though. The child is to be addressed as They, not He or She.


What do you think?

[Oma]

Its wrong ,
Im all for children being children and playing with whatever they like and as small children my GS's slopped around in my high heels and had nail polish on if they wanted ,
They had dolls and prams ,
My DD loved her garage and cars when she was little , nothing wrong with that they are children

But to send a little boy to school with no identity and call them they is heading for a confused child in the future
Its confusing for other children too not knowing if they are girl or boy ,

If in the future when that child is OLDER and that child wants to identify as a girl then fine , but dont make things difficult and confusing now .

This isnt the childs choice it is the parents selfish choice in my oppinion ,

[Gemini]

That's what I feel Oma. It's making the child different before they have expressed any wishes of their own.

[Nanto2girls]

Gem, i think its wrong. To be honest, i can't understand why the parents can't see how confusing it must be to a small child.

[Grauntie Mag]

Personally Gem, I think it’s madness on many levels. Very young children need guide lines, and are far too young to have indecision thrust upon them in this way. There will be plenty of time for the child to make decisions about gender and sexuality when he/she is old enough to understand about feelings, etc.
I also know a couple who’s DD has made this decision about her child. They were as bewildered as the rest of us!

[Fairyqueen]

Completely agree with all comments I think it’s mean and cruel. I am all for children playing with whatever toys they want and dressing how they want but for Child to be addressed as they is just wrong. You are either a male or female end of story. Poor child I feel so sorry for him.

[Daisy]

Apart from anything else, when a situation results in resorting to calling a little girl or boy "it" ("they" isn't any better in my opinion) it feels almost Orwellian. I'm perfectly happy for a male or female of any age to dress in whatever way they choose, call themselves any name they choose and to choose their friends and how they play and have fun.

I wonder how much fun this little child has.

[Lizzie48]

I find it very strange, let the poor children be what they are, they can always decide later in life if they differ, making the decision for them so young surely can't be good.

[Plantaholic]

I agree with all that has been said, very confusing and possibly isolates the child from other children.

[Sunshine]

It is interesting that the parent refers to their child as ‘he’ on Facebook, if they truly want them to be raised as gender neutral. It sounds like the parent is confused!!!

[Gemini]

The child is generally quite badly behaved. Yet again today GS told me B had pushed someone over and been on the Amber Face.

[Plantaholic]

Coming from a free thinking family no wonder he is finding it difficult to socialise, the other children may find it difficult to socialise with him. A very confused child I would think, feel sorry for him.

[Glammanana]

My heart goes out to this little boy (they) he must be confused himself I expect he will not have too many close friends in school poor mite due to his bad behaviour does he get invited to parties etc (when they where allowed)is he an only child ? He should be allowed to choose his own identity when he reaches an age where he can make his own decision.

[Gemini]

As far as I am aware I haven't seen this child when picking up GS.
DD tells me that they are dressed totally as a girl, so unless I heard the name used I would just assume it was a little girl.
The whole situation sounds a bit confused.

[Avo]

Seems to me the parents are confused! Poor child... like you ladies I don’t think it matters what the child plays with or who he chooses to play with but it seems to me the parents are probably influencing him, they are buying the clothes/toys etc I hope he won’t end up in a situation where he is bullied. Children can be very cruel to their peers sometimes.