Under age drinking

[Gemini]

What are your thoughts on this?

Is the 18 age limit unrealistic in this day and age, or is it a sensible way to protect young people from damage when they are too young to understand the consequences of alcohol?

In many states of the USA the legal age is 21. This I think it unrealistic, and I'm sure the vast majority are drinking alcohol long before this. I think our 18 age limit is about right. I know many people will drink below that age, but not sanctioning it and allowing them to drink in pubs before that, is the right thing, in my opinion.

Last night OH and I went to a 15 year old girls birthday party. To have a party at home for teenagers is madness in my opinion!! Mine had a 'last hurrah' party of their choice at 13, then no more until their 18th, when in fact 2 of my DD's chose not to have parties anyway.

We adults stayed in one room last night, and the teenagers were in another room and outside, mostly going between the two. It was all planned for outside, but the dreadful weather decreed otherwise.
All the guests were 15. Birthday girl J, was drunk when we arrived, about an hour into the party. She had drunk 2 bottles of cider. The parents had said guests could bring alcohol, and of course they did. They did say no spirits and as far as we know this was adhered to. Beer, cider and alcopops were drunk. Soft drinks were provided along with nibbles and pizza.

Maybe I am an old fuddy duddy but this attitude to alcohol shocked me. Although J, was told to drink no more we cant be certain and 2 ciders quickly is far too much anyway. Everyone seemed to find it funny that she was obviously drunk, especially her 10 year old brother.
I think this is teaching kids of this age that to have a good time alcohol must be involved, and you must be drunk. It is one thing to be in that state in your own home, with adults looking out for you. For a girl to be in that state out somewhere would be an entirely different situation. I felt this wasn't teaching her to handle alcohol, or her future safety, sensibly.
I would have said no alcohol as they are under age, and if any of my daughters had returned home drunk from a party at that age, I would not have been happy.
Maybe I am out of touch, but I didn't feel it was right, and I said to OH if we are invited to her next party (should they give her one !) I won't go.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this one.

[Grauntie Mag]

I totally agree that 18 is about right Gem. A person I know told me about her daughter's 14th party held at home. No alcohol was stipulated on the invites, her father and a friend wecomed the guests at the door and made sure that there was no alcohol brought in. One of the guests was so legless at the end, vomiting etc., an ambulance and the parents were called. The parents blamed the hostess even though they knew it was to be no alcohol. One parent sent her child with two bottles of wine which promptly went down the sink. This parent made a fuss and said if she allowed her 14 year old to drink then that should be ok. You can imagine my friend's response. The upshot of all this was a vow to never to have a teenager's party again.

[Gemini]

I don't blame her Grauntie!!

[Qwerty]

Oh I so agree 18 should be the limit and I would have been very annoyed at the fact that my DD went to a party where alcohol was allowed , what were they thinking .The last party my children had was when they were 13 to celebrate becoming a teenager but there was no alcohol we stayed in a separate room and didn't interfere but it was just music, dancing and a buffet.

[Nanto2girls]

My opinion is that 18 is too young sometimes, some just go overboard with alcohol.
I certainly wouldn't let a group of 15 year olds drink alcohol, even when the party is in their own home.

[Glammanana]

I am stuck on this question really with regard to age and have been for quite a while,my DGD is 15 but a very young 15 and could not possibly cope with being at a party where alcolohol was present she is easily led and could not say no I'm affraid,she would be in the catogory for drinking legally at 21 I fear and no earlier.
My 2 eldest DGSs have always been sensible and DGS1 never drank until he was over 20 his brother did go to the pub for a drink on his 18th and not before as far as we know,the youngest 2 DGSs 21 & 19 have been in and out of clubs & pubs since they where 16/17 they just may have started earlier at friends houses but we could never catch them out.
What my 2 DSs did object to was when they where doing their training with their different Military Units that it was OK to sign up to fight for your Country but not be allowed even a glass of Shandy on a Friday/Saturday night when they had R&R,so no wonder they go mad when they get to 18 and are let loose in the Towns they are based in.I have to say when we where in Vegas a lot of the youngsters we saw out in restaurants drinking wine/beers etc where certainly not 21,and on the other side of the coin our whole party was denied entry to a steak house because we had no proof of age for us grownups (we didn't take our passports out with us) that certainly is taking it the wildest of extreems

[Plantaholic]

Having spent some years in the company of my GC and their friends, things have certainly changed since mine were teenagers. They have had parties where parents are sending their children with spirits and wine and they will drink something like vodka prior to going to a club because they can't afford the drinks at the club and worry about them being spiked and they tend not to drink at other times. I can remember my DS bringing a very drunk friend home with him and I sat up with him all night as I was frightened he would choke on his vomit. At least my GC have never been involved with drugs, although of course alcohol is a drug.

[Oma]

I think 18 is the right age , But I also think if you can get married at 16 with parental consent , sign up to fight for your country ,have your own home , and have babies , then they must be allowed to drink at 16 ,
I don't like it but its a fact of life ,
Some years ago on the other site I mentioned about a couple of my nieces getting drunk every weekend and dressing well lets say not decently for a young girl out in the pubs ,and my worry for them . now they are grown up married and very quiet settled young ladies ,
I certainly know for a fact my DS was drinking with his friends when he was 15 , although I always warned him what would happen if I caught him , but at that age I couldn't watch him 24 hours a day and what went on at his friends houses I had no control of .
My DD started to go to clubs at 17 but she was always with her boyfriend (now husband ) and I knew he looked after her and she never came home drunk .

I wouldn't hold a party for a 15 yr old and allow drink of any kind ,
Our young people are not children at that age anymore , at 15 we were all so different .

[Daisy]

It's a really difficult time for teenagers - they're legally children, but physically adult, but emotionally could be anywhere from young child to responsible citizen.

Parties are very difficult though, and we never had teenage parties. I do remember DS1's 15th birthday. It clashed with something we were committed to doing, so he was going to be home on his own. We agreed he could have one friend over to stay (we would be back before midnight) and I left them a meal they only had to reheat in the microwave and two cans of not very strong beer. They were both sensible kids and felt very grown up that we trusted them. I certainly wouldn't have been happy for either of our sons to have gone to a party where alcohol was freely available.