Technology at the Table in Restaurants and at the Table in General.

[Grauntie Mag]

I went out to dinner at a restaurant to celebrate a friend's birthday this week. We saw a family we knew well there. A mother, father, young child (6ish) and an uncle. Each one of them was fidling with a phone or iPad.Hardly any conversation seemed to be taking place. 'Mind your own biz' I hear you cry. Well, we did. 😑
Tonight OH has relayed a converation he had with a friend yesterday. Her grandchildren made the mistake of bringing their phones to the dinner table. She reprimanded them and told them how rude it is to do so. I agree wholeheartedly but I don't think I would have told them it was rude, ( it is but I would want them to come again).
Are you tolerant of this habit? Are we being 'old fashioned'?

[Daisy]

GM - I think it depends on the situation. If our GCs are staying with us, or just visiting for the day, they eat at the table with the grown-ups and leave phones etc in another room. But if we are eating out on a more grown-up occasion they will probably get fidgety, especially DS1, and I don't mind them using screens while they wait for their meal or if we are relaxing with a coffee afterwards - but not while we are all eating. I suppose families have to work out what's appropriate for them, but I feel quite sad when I see a whole family, eyes glued to phones etc and not talking to each other.

[Gemini]

I have noticed whole familes glued to phones andi pads when out for meals together. Most odd to my mind, surely this is the time for conversation? !
I do think there is a place for this with children sometimes. We adults love to chat after meals, and some entertainment can be useful to keep the children seated until everyone is ready to go!

[Oma]

I sometimes let the children watch a video on the lap top while they have lunch at my house but not every time just a treat now and then but I wouldn't allow it if we out for dinner , I don't mind before and after but not during a meal .
My DS is always fiddling with his phone while hear so much so that I now make him leave it in the hall , it drives me mad it's so rude when your trying to have a conversation with him and he's texting all the time .

[Pearl5]

We have main meals at the table, even though DD is 25 if her phone rings or she gets a message she doesn't answer etc if we are eating, we are all like that, if we were out having a meal we might answer a message or something but not sit and play on them, if the GK's are here they sit at the table too, and automatically put there phones/laptops down, they don't bring them to the table, i have never really thought about it, but now i am i know OH has said to them in the past put your phones etc down and you can have them again when your finished, maybe he done it with our lot too, but it is ignorant to be on your phones while in company, yeah answer it, reply to it, but a lot of the time, ppl go on FB, play on stuff etch..

Oma, my DS's phone is glued to his hand i am sure, we will be in the middle of a conversation them he will start texting, and depending who the text is from his mood changes so i think put your phone down, think i will have a new moto no mobiles allowed....

I know sometimes if we go out for big family meals, then kids can have there phones etc, like you say, us adults want to chill and relax with coffee etc, have a catch up, kids just want to eat and go home, so the tech stuff keeps then occupied,....

[Grauntie Mag]

Our GC are allowed to leave the table when they have finished eating which is usually before us.They can do what they like in another room, but at the table? Just imagine if we read a book at the table when we were children. It didn't happen in our house. Maybe the fact that it isn't always possible for families to eat together as we generally did is to blame. How times change. I am a dinosaur I think.😬

[ZIZI]

All of my grandchildren have to eat main meals at the table, they are not allowed phones or iPads etc. Breakfast is usually toast or brioche of somethi like that and they are usually under a duvet on the sofa so I allow them to play then. If we go out for lunch they are not allowed to have them until after the meal is over. Parents let them have them while waiting for the meal but my feeling is that we don't see them as often as I would like and it is the perfectt opportunity to talk.

I have also also seen entire families glued their phones etc. But what annoys me most is the parents who a pushing baby along in a pushchair or have a little person walking/scooting next to them and the parent is on the phone not taking notice of what is happening with he children.

[Pearl5]

GM our GK's can leave table too if there finished there meal, we usually try to get them to wait until all the GK's are finished but sometimes it's not possible, normally if 1 gets down they all do, whether they are finished are not, i dont think your being a dinosaur GM if you are i am too, as i am on your level.... mind saying that at night time i have looked around our sitting room and me, DD and OH are all on our laptops...

[Pearl5]

I agree with everything you said Zizi sounds like our house, breakfast under duvets on the settee, but main meals etc we sit as a family, always have done, it's nice, although our DD is older, we sometimes wait for her for tea if it is getting late, so we can sit together, its just nice...i suppose we are lucky we can still do that...

[Mimi]

I was amazed at my BILs response to a remark I made about this. We were in a restaurant when a group of young people were all sat at a table and none of them were even looking at each other let alone talking to each other. I said , "Very soon people will loose the skills of general conversation , no one will even make eye contact with each other "
He thinks there is wrong with that, that's the way the world is going everything will be donu via the phone, job interviews, contracts signed etc.
I then asked him, as a painter and decorator by trade how is he going to hang wallpaper and paint a wall via a phone!

[Daisy]

GM our GK's can leave table too if there finished there meal, we usually try to get them to wait until all the GK's are finished but sometimes it's not possible, normally if 1 gets down they all do, whether they are finished are not, i dont think your being a dinosaur GM if you are i am too, as i am on your level.... mind saying that at night time i have looked around our sitting room and me, DD and OH are all on our laptops...

Pearl - your comment about everyone being on their laptops in the sitting room made me think. I remember when tvs were becoming more popular and more and more families sat watching them in the evening (instead of listening to the radio, knitting, reading, playing board games, etc) and 'everyone' said it would ruin families because they'd stop talking to each other - they'd all be glued to the 'box'. That's not so different from us all using our laptops or tablets together in the evening is it.

If we had visitors we'd always turn the tv off, but a lot of people didn't - and texting in the middle of a face to face conversation with someone is much the same, I suppose. So perhaps the behaviour hasn't changed that much, just the technology!

I don't see any problem with letting children get down from the table when they've finished eating. I can remember sitting there bored stiff while grown ups talked! I could never understand why they didn't want to get up and run about after a meal!

[Gemini]

I think children getting down from the table when they have finished eating (if they ask first) is fine at home, or at grandparents etc. However this isn't practical when eating out in restaurants, that's when devices, or good old fashioned books or colouring books, come in very useful!

[Daisy]

Gem - I agree, you can't have them running round in restaurants. I was meaning it's ok to get down at home.

[Pearl5]

Your right Daisy, just never thought about it like that, if TV was on i wouldn't look around and think why is everyone watching TV we too turn TV's off or turn volume off, wonder why we do that

Gem i agree too last thing you want in restaurants is kids running around, i remember a few years ago going for a family meal and my nephew who wouldn't sit still actually plugged his computer thing into the socket at the restaurant they never said anything, i suppose anything for a quiet life......i could say mine would never have been allowed to do that but then again i had good kiddles...

[Shemadee]

We ate out a lot during our holiday and probably about 75% of diners would be glued to their mobiles. Worse thing is when there are two people at a table and one is speaking to a third person on their mobile whilst their companion stares into space bored and ignored. In New York people seemed to spend their time shouting "f^^k you" down their phones!