wills

[Gemini]

We are at the moment planning to sort out our wills, and having the house put into both our names. When we bought this house I was still married, although long separated. We felt it was wise to put the house in OH's name, and leave things until after the divorce, just in case it affected anything for me. We have a very good relationship with my ex and I trust him. We felt it best to be cautious however.

Now the divorce is long over OH and are married, so we need to put my name on our house.OH did a do it yourself will online a couple of years ago. This cost about £30, which was the cost of it being checked over. It is legal. But we worry that it may possibly not be!
So, we want to each make a will, with a solicitor, and change the names on the house deeds.

Last week OH e mailed several will writing companies. She mentioned ' my wife and myself' and signed it with her name, which is a female name, not one which leaves room for doubt, like Chris, Alex or Sam!

Every reply we had begins 'Dear Mr and Mrs H'. I know that is the norm, but I feel OH made it clear it wasn't our situation. As they are so careless and unobservant it inspires no confidence, so I doubt we will choose any of them!

[Shemadee]

The devil is in the detail as they say and these firms are obviously not very observant. Not a very encouraging start!

I've been thinking about wills and lasting power of attorney! Hard to know what is hard sell and what is the true legal position. Many state that the remaining partner won't have access to joint accounts which doesn't seem right! Was thinking about contacting citizens advice as a possible source of impartial advice.

[aggie]

That can happen Shem , an acquaintance , has been locked out of half his cash because it was ajoint account and his Wife is in a care home with dementia , something about protecting her interests , we are in the middle of legal stuff at the moment and just hope we haven't left it too late

[Shemadee]

Thanks Aggie! So you need to include your OH to give them permission to act on your behalf? Life does get complicated sometimes.

When FIL was very poorly it did seem as if the NHS "owned" him! MIL made some arrangements herself for a nursing home but these were just ignored with no discussion or explanation. The nursing home he ended up in was excellent and free but it did leave us and MIL feeling powerless.

[Daisy]

We are just about to do our will, too. We have very recently been sorting out some things for our two sons and now want to formalise the situation. It's a straight forward 'mirror' will, ie on first death everything is left to the surviving spouse, and on second death the entire estate (sounds grand, but it's not!) goes equally to our 2 children or their heirs. We've had various quotes from local solicitors and believe me they varied a lot, and are going to go to the solicitor who has recently done some work for us and been extremely helpful and meticulous. Our long-standing family solicitor isn't local and we thought it was better to have personal contact over any minor details, rather than doing it through phone calls and emails.

Gem - oh the pitfalls of standard letters!!!

Yes, I think you can get 'locked' out of joint accounts is one spouse dies or is incapacitated. I'll check this with my OH when he comes in - he will know for sure.

[Skye]

Gem it makes you wonder how much attention they actually pay, those firms have lost your business straight away! I've been thinking about wills too, never got round to it before. Would anybody know if it's true that as my OH is younger than me, if we happened to die together it would be assumed that I died first being older (!) and everything would go to his side of the family? We don't have any children together while I have a son. I think this reason alone would make it imperative that we make a will asap...

[Gemini]

Skye, I seem to remember something about this, as my husband was 8 months younger than me.You could be right. I'm not 100% certain though.
I would say a will is a very good idea in your case, as your son is not the son of both of you.

[Shemadee]

It also seems that if a couple are unmarried and there are young children involved the partner does not have the same automatic rights as a legal husband! They would probably end up with the children but not necessarily. We did wills a long time ago - nothing much has changed but not sure that DD2 would want DD1 to be her guardian!! OH worked briefly in will writing and quite a few times sat with a couple making wills and would then get a phone call telling him to change one persons. Usually because they didn't want to leave things to a certain charity but in one case naming another woman and person as a joint beneficiary. Hard enough to be widowed without finding out about other people involved in your OHs life!! Couples would also disagree when they found out what kind of ceremony/service the other wanted.

[Plantaholic]

From my experience, My OH and I made a Will years ago and it was like yours Daisy, quite straightforward. Just before he was ill we noticed that one account was only in his name, if we hadn't changed it, I would not have been able to use it until after probate. Ours was straightforward really. Power of Attorney is made out but not put into practise until needed.

[aggie]

We haven't put the power of attorney into practice yet , because the Solicitor says OH is still capable , but it is in place if it is needed , everything is in joint names except my own bank account from when I was working and now my pittance of a pension is in it , but it would be enough to keep me from having to sell my body while things got sorted if the worse came to the worst

[Shemadee]

Most of our money etc is joint so it would make sense to open an account for each of us with a few months survival money in, wouldn't it?

[Avo]

I've been thinking about wills and lasting power of attorney! Hard to know what is hard sell and what is the true legal position. Many state that the remaining partner won't have access to joint accounts which doesn't seem right! Was thinking about contacting citizens advice as a possible source of impartial advice.

I don't think that this is correct. I had a joint account with my Mum before she died and I was able to carry on using it and changed it into a sole named account after she died. I did not have a power of attorney as I was able to deal with her financial affairs using the joint account. Best you get advise from an impartial source.

[Enfys]

I think that's right Avo, as I was in the same situation with my Mum.

We have made our wills and have also set up Lasting Power of Attorney which will be activated if any when it is needed. Everything is quite straightforward ie mirror wills, equally between DD and DS. But feel happy knowing it's all done.

[Nana]

I don't think that this is correct. I had a joint account with my Mum before she died and I was able to carry on using it and changed it into a sole named account after she died. I did not have a power of attorney as I was able to deal with her financial affairs using the joint account. Best you get advise from an impartial source.

Really informative thread. We made a will years ago & I keep trying to nudge OH to update it. Things have changed so I want to set the record straight. We had it made with a solicitor & also have them as the Executor. I haven't thought about Power of Attorney....is this the same as Lasting Power of Attorney? I don't want to leave any of the 'sorting' of monies etc to my DDs.

I did wonder Avo about a joint Post Office account I had with Mum. Your post has spurred me on to pop in tomorrow to try to sort it out. There's so much to think about & I'd totally forgotten about it.

[Gemini]

I have power of attorney for my mum. I also had it for my dad but never needed to use it as mum was able to sort things out. It is useful now as we can't get the car close enough to any of the branches oh the Halifax where she banks . With power of attorney I was able to be added as a signatory on her accounts, and do her banking for her.