Christmas

[Plantaholic]

Well, it has been decided, I am going to DS and DIL for Christmas Day, they will come for present opening Christmas morning and the I will go back with them and get a taxi home later.

[Nana]

Before Mum died we always took her to spend Christmas with my brother. We always enjoyed our family get-togethers, happy in the knowledge that DDs enjoyed their own family Christmases. Now things have changed since mum died & DD is now a single parent. She comes over to us with our 2 GC on Christmas day for a few days.

OH & I go to my brother's for Boxing Day leaving DD & GC for the day at our's who are then joined by my other DD & her children. The next day DD2 & children come for a family get-together. Her OH never comes but I'm not offended as he prefers doing his own thing.

So Zizi, that's my Christmas. I love seeing my family but in a way I wish I still had my Mum to celebrate with. Times change & we have to change with them or we'll be forever sad.

[Mimi]

Zizi you are not selfish at all.
Sometimes our younger members of the family don’t think things through, it not done in a nasty or thoughtless way, it’s just how it is and we are left with the dilemma of do we say something and they begrudgingly change their plans or do we say nothing and hide the hurt we are feeding. I tend to do the second option .
This has happened to us several times, not at Christmas time I must admit but there have been times when ‘family’ have been invited for a get together and me and OH have been left sitting at home.

We are a bit like you Zizi , we don’t thrust ourselves on our family, I think it’s only right to wait for an invite to meals and parties etc . I can remember mum making us hide behind the sofa because our one aunt was always at our front door. That’s why I am like I am I suppose.

[Gemini]

My mum and mum in law were always ones to push themselves onto us, and we spent more time with them than would have been our choice. So I, like some of you, promised myself I would never be like them and that my daughters would see me because they wanted to, not because they had to.

[Qwerty]

Isn’t it funny we all do things so differently to our parents hoping not to make the same mistakes as them, I probably go over the top now and never interfere with their lives always wait for an invitation etc sometimes I think I have gone the other way now, my parents used to come every Wednesday regardless as to whether I was 8 mths pregnant and tired they would still expect a meal on the table and when I went back to work it made no difference they let themselves into the house and when I got home about 4 ish not even a cup of tea was offered I had to put the kettle on, my kids know nothing don’t get me started 😀

[Gemini]

Do you know Qwerty, my mum came over every Friday afternoon (and was not happy if sometimes I had to swap my work day and work a Friday so couldn't see her until 3!) I cooked for her and dad, who came from work, and us 5 every week, unless they were on holiday, or we were. No invitation needed that was what was happening!! I could probably count on one hand, or certainly 2, the number of meals I have in any of my DDs homes in a year!!

[ZIZI]

My mother once came to find me in a supermarket six miles from my house. It was before husband and I were together although we knew each other. Mother came up behind me and told me off for not being at home when she got there. A) I didn’t know she was coming B) she lived in Bath and I lived in Hampton s.w. London! Apparently she was “just passing”.

When husband and and I got together but were not then living together we invited her and dad to his house. She walked in, looked around the sitting room and went out to the garden - not a word was said - she then proceeded to rehang husbands washing because “it was not done right”. She had never met him before!

[Nana]

Easy for me to count how many meals we've had at our DDs. None. It would be nice but just doesn't happen. We take sandwhiches & buns to eat while we're there, ( for everyone). Funny now I think about it.

I used to curse Mum & as rotten as she was with me I would love to spend another Christmas with her. When you do something for so long it really does leave an empty space.

[ZIZI]

We have been to Sunday lunch and two christmases at the youngest and same at the eldest apart from some barbecues but they haven’t happened in the last couple of years either. Middle boy - well what can I say? I am not even sure where he lives now althiugh I know he is still around as he occasionally sees his brothers. Oh and when I say boy I mean a 43 year old man......

[Plantaholic]

Families today have a much more social life and they do a lot of running the children around to various activities, family get-togethers are very difficult to fit in. I wouldn't see my family very often if they didn't live next door. My DIL will get in touch and say we haven't seen you for a time, can I pop in for a coffee, or invite me to their house. Their house has an open door always like yours Daisy.

[Daisy]

I think I must be very lucky. DS1 and DIL quite regularly invite us over for a week-end or just a Sunday roast. Perhaps more often in the summer for a barbecue - they are very hospitable and we're always made to feel welcome. Perhaps that is why I don't worry too much about when and where (or even if) we see them over Christmas. Equally they come down here and are always welcome to stay. They are both very busy though with demanding full-time jobs and 2 sons with very different needs. I always wish I could do more to help and if we lived closer I would.

We never have a meal at DS2's - apart from what I prepare when I'm looking after the GDs. That's ok with me - they don't have room to seat 6 for a meal and DS often sends me home with something tasty he's cooked (he loves trying new things and is a good cook). And they don't come over to us very often, apart from family gatherings for birthdays, etc, but we see such a lot of them anyway with looking after the girls.

[WeeGranny]

With both children working n th hospitality industry, I got used to having Christmas when they weren't working. Makes little difference to me when i celebrate. This year we're with DS in Slovakia, that should be different if nothing else and DD and family will be here for New Year.
We see DD fairly regularly, htough it'd be nice to see more of the but they lead busy working and social lives. So we take what we can and don't complain!

[Gemini]

I have bought my Jacqui Lawson advent calendar

[Plantaholic]

That should be fun Gemini

[Daisy]

Gem - not long now till you can start opening it!!

WG - I feel the same. It's nice to see the family, but it doesn't really matter when and if we can't get together on Christmas Day itself then OH and I will do our own thing. We always celebrate New Year with friends in the village - it started when our own children needed baby sitters which are hard to come by on NYE. We had a house with a perfect, huge room off the kitchen and we started hosting NYE for various friends. It started with about 6 or 7 couples plus children. Everyone shared the catering - and the most we seated was 27. Now we're a select band of 7 and we rotate between the 3 couples (one friend lost her husband a few years ago). We hosted last year, so this year I shall just have to make a starter or a pudding.