Funerals

[Grauntie Mag]

Yesterday we went to the funeral of a friend. OH decided he didn’t want to wear a collar and tie so he wore a black polo neck. He has’diabetic’ feet which are sometimes sore so has to pick the most comfortable shoes which are the brown ones.
At the wake, a friend (publicly) took him to task over his attire, and obviously this has now caused a rift.
I said that so long as he was there to pay his respects it didn’t matter what he was wearing. These days people aren’t as formal as they used to be.
Do you agree or am I wrong? It was a Catholic service, would that have made a difference?

[Gemini]

Oh my God, that is appalling. Who would challenge anyone about anything at a funeral, unless their behaviour was out of control or upsetting others?

Your poor OH.

He wasn't wearing a clown's outfit and flip flops for goodness sake!

People can wear whatever they like to my funeral. Preferably blue , but I'm not insisting

[Lizzie48]

GM, I say the same as Gem, wear what you like, the most important thing is that you are there to pay your respects. We live in, what used to be a catholic village, I have attended many funerals and just wore something smart.

[Oma]

OMG I agree with Gem that appalling,

People do not wear black these days in fact I have known of people insisting on bright colours,
It's a celebration of their life and as long as your smart and there , it has nothing to do with anyone else what you wear ,
Personally I think hubby sounds like he was very smart.

I attended a funeral for a neighbour a few years ago and his request was everyone wore their favourite football shirt, he was football mad.

Not my choosing but it did bring a smile to lots of faces.

I think you can do without people like that in your life to be brutally honest.
In fact I'm blooming angry for your hubby ,
What a nasty piece of work that man sounds 🤬

[Grauntie Mag]

Not nasty Oma, just opinionated, stubborn and old fashioned. We have been good friends for 40 years and his wife is my bridge partner so I’m hoping it blows over quickly.
Glad to hear you all agree about the outfit. OH did look smart, but as the day wasn’t about him I didn’t think it mattered anyway.

[Daisy]

Grauntie, your poor OH. His friend is definitely opinionated and old fashioned.

As you know, we've been to far more funerals than we would have wished in the last 15 months, and I would say it is just as acceptable to wear something smart, and my OH has got a light grey suit which he wears for funerals. I don't see anything wrong with that. I think some funerals are perhaps more formal/traditional than others and the two Catholic services my OH has attended recently were full requiem mass in church and my OH's Sister and her husband's services were both very traditional Anglican services. But not everyone wore black at any of those funerals.

To make you smile - my wonderful DS1 discussed his funeral arrangements with DIL. She asked about dress code, and his reply was he didn't mind in the least, but would prefer no bare chests, mankinis or budgie smugglers.

[Sum1Ls]

As a Catholic, I’m appalled that anyone could be so rude, and ridiculous. There are NO a rules about what to wear. Your ‘friend’ needs to apologise asap. Tell him to check with the rubrics for funerals and take advice from his Parish Priest. That is, if he is a regular worshipper, in which case he should know better.

The one piece of guidance for parishioners is to make an effort to attend funerals in their parish church, even if they don’t know the deceased, to give support to the family and to pray for them.

[Grauntie Mag]

Daisy, what a wonderful sense of humour your DS1 had.
OH has said he will be civil when we see them next but he still feels angry. I just hope it all goes away quickly.
Gem, the vision of him in a clown’s outfit and flip flops made me roar with laughter. Our deceased friend would have enjoyed the spectacle as well. 🤣
Thank you all for your support, I feel very much better about it now.

[Nanto2girls]

I think people tend to wear whatever they want now to funerals.
A lot still wear black,but a lot don't.
Light/bright colours are acceptable now.

[Clover]

Agree with what everyone has said. It was none of that man’s business anyway.I hope the rift soon heals.

[Daisy]

Some years ago we attended the funeral of a friend. We were all asked to wear something red - the colour of the football team he had always supported. We were chatting to another friend afterwards and he commented that red must be the new black. He had totally missed the request for something red, and felt embarrassed that he was the only one not in red. (Just in case you're wondering - it was too cold for flip flops!)