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    School bullying

    This is partly inspired by bullying within my family, but I won't be covering this here. That thread is on YEO.

    My OH and I were discussing bullying and we both feel that we were very lucky to not have encountered any bullying at all.

    I went to an all girls grammar school in a city and OH a mixed secondary modern in a small a market town.

    Neither of us were bullied even slightly and neither encountered or was aware of any bullying at all with our schools.
    We wonder if this is unusual and we were lucky, or whether that was the way of things then?

    There obviously wasn't the online and phone bullying that they have to contend with now. I'm sure there must have been bullying always to some extent though.

    Were your school days free from bullying? Were you aware of anyone else being bullied?
    “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

    #2
    I've thought about this as well, Gem. I can't remember any bullying either at the junior faith school or the all-girls' grammar school in an industrial city. There were fallings-out between girls, but not really between groups. I don't ever remember it being a topic of conversation either. Discipline from the adults - teachers, parents, any adults you came into contact with in fact - was strict and you knew if you were naughty you'd be in trouble.

    "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

    (Marianne Williamson)

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      #3
      I know bullying went on when I went to the secondary modern school, the children hiding at the edge of the playground, at lunch time, at the end of the bus queue, etc, then I must say it was a very strict school and I mean strict! The staff couldn't and didn't see everything that went on.

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        #4
        I was never bullied that I can recall , we had fall outs but never actual bullying,
        To be honest I was oblivious to most of my school days I remember very little ,
        B will remind me occasionally as we went to school together ,
        I think in our days it wasn’t as prevalent as it is in today’s society,

        I think Girls especially are a mean lot these days , They seem to be very aggressive and of course with mobile phones and internet they can become dangerous in some situations.
        Im not fat just 6ft too small

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          #5
          DS2 was bullied when he was about 8 years old, they went to a hobby club near here in the evening and after each class one older boy would be waiting for him coming out of his class then set about him, until, we had a dog at the time so I went for a walk and just happened to pass as they were coming out and he went for my son, it was the last time, I got hold of him and shook him, I told him if he ever did it again I would be waiting! The next day his mother phoned me, she told me I couldn't do things like that, I very politely told her that her son couldn't do what he was doing and if he hadn't been doing it I wouldn't have needed to be there! It never happened again.

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            #6
            Good for you Lizzie
            What is life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare

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              #7
              I was thinking Plant, they would arrest me for doing that now!!! The boy always spoke to me after that, very polite! It must have helped.

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                #8
                Lizzie, I think that's part of the trouble nowadays. Years ago adults were able to deal with problems there and then, even if it was rough justice sometimes (I'm not saying you meted out rough justice). Now, adults have very few sanctions. I certainly wouldn't want to go back to the belt hanging behind the kitchen door, or the cane or any other corporal punishment. So I don't know what the answer is, except setting up good role models, giving youngsters something to aspire to and something to be proud of.

                "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are. "

                (Marianne Williamson)

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                  #9
                  It worked Lizzie!

                  My dear mum, half Italian, feared walking into school each morning as a nasty little boy would wait in the playground for her and chant 'M------0 The Wop'. There was apparently a character in a comic then called Musso the Wop and as mum was mixed race and had a surname beginning and ending with the same letters he found it funny to taunt her .

                  My grandmother eventually got to hear about this and how upset mum had been.
                  She followed mum to school one morning, hid out of sight and heard. She came out, gave the boy a dressing down and told him what she would do if he ever bothered my mum again. He went off crying, but he never did it again.
                  “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

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                    #10
                    Having said I wasn't bullied at my grammar school , Lizzie's post and mine about my grandmother stepping in for my mum, reminded me of this incident.

                    When I was in the reception class at my primary school I was bullied by a 'big girl'.
                    The oldest girls were allowed to help supervise at lunch time. I didn't like the school mash (just about my favourite food now!) It was lumpy and tasteless. I had a small appetite as a child anyway and this mash was just too much for me.

                    One day I was upset after school . Mum wanted to know what was wrong and I told her I had been crying at school because the girl, Ruth had threatened to feed me my dinner if I didn't eat it all.
                    Next morning unknown to me after dad had dropped me at school, mum set off to walk to school (a couple of miles) with my baby sister in the pram. She asked the headmistress if she could see R and she agreed.
                    Mum told R that they paid for my dinners, I didn't have to eat anything I didn't want, and that she would come into school and personally feed R with every dinner if she ever upset me again. Mum thanked the head, turned and left. R was of course upset.
                    Not the 'correct' way to deal with things maybe, but R never bothered me again and I am so proud of my mum for protecting me.

                    As an adult looking back I hope the head was also ashamed of allowing a 10 or 11 year old so much unsupervised control over 5 year olds.

                    “A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown

                    Comment


                      #11
                      This actually reminded me of a incident with my DD ,
                      There was a boy in her class who constantly taunted her ,
                      She was very dark skinned as a youngster just like Bs mother and with black hair and brown eyes ,
                      This boy used to call her Paki , this went on for a couple of weeks without my knowledge , she was about 14 then .
                      This particular day she was walking home and he pushed her from behind she fell into a wall and ended up with a black eye ,
                      We we’re going on holiday the next morning so I didn’t have time to go to the school about it .

                      When we came back I intended going to sort it out only to find out the boys in her class had sorted this boy out for us ,
                      He never bothered her again in fact as they got older he became a good friend .
                      It was nice to know the other boys in her class had her back and put him in his place though .

                      Mind you our DS was about 6 at the time heard us talking about it and decided when they were fighting it would be good to call her Jackie the Paki to be nasty , that was knocked on the head I can tell you ,
                      Im not fat just 6ft too small

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                        #12
                        When i was at was at school,there was never any bullying,as far as i'm aware.
                        Never heard of any either when our boys were at school.
                        Sometimes I forget to like posts,but that doesn't mean I don't like them.

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