How do you 'Distribute the wealth' amongst your grandchildren or great grandchildren?

[Gemini]

I am not talking about big stuff like wills here, although feel free to discuss that if you want to!

I have 3 grandchildren. I spend the same amount on each, for Christmas and birthdays. If I have more grandchildren I will continue to spend equally on them all.
It is not to the exact penny or even pound, but roughly it is the same amount.

My mum feels very differently (As she does on most things to be honest LOL)
We talked abut this once again yesterday, so I decided to write about it here.

Mum feels she should spend the combined amount that she spends on my DD2's 2 children on DD1's son (an only child)
In her eyes this is fair, and anything else is unfair. The problem with this to my mind is I do her shopping and as she doesn't spend much it is hard to find cheap things for my GD and GS2 from her!!She's obviously not happy with the £12 I spent on Next top for GS2's 2nd birthday on her behalf!
I pointed out to her that someone with 6 grandchildren from one DD or DS and one from another would be spending an awful lot on that only child! To me that is unfair.

I have never heard of any else doing this or having this opinion, so I thought I would ask you ladies here!

[Enfys]

We’ve always done what you do Gem. Always spent the same amount on our DC and now the same with the GC. I’ve always tried to treat them equally, whether it’s money, treats or time as much as we can. In my mind that’s the only fair way to do it.

[Clover]

We do the same Gem.
Perhaps your Mum looks at it from the point of view of spending the same on both DDs rather than the actual GC?

[ZIZI]

We spend the same on all of them, maybe a tiny discrepancy here and there, I say we it is me actually. The only difference is pocket money. Once a month they get one pound for each year of their age. I also give them a fiver each when they are going on holiday but I am going to ha e to reconsider that as currently J and S are booked on several holidays and have decided that camping weekend also count, new mortgage required in that case so I will have to sit them down and rationalise it. Husband and I will discuss especially at th3 moment when our income is so much less.

[Gemini]

Clover, I think you have something there!
She spends slightly more on DD3, and slips her the odd bit of cash from time to time, because she has no children and her sisters do!!

[granma2aj]

We spend the same amount on give or take the odd pence our 2 gs are the same age well 8 weeks difference so tend to get them the same things & baby is only 8 month

[Nanto2girls]

When eldest GD was single,we spent the same on both GD's.
Now the eldest one has a partner and they have their own house, at Christmas we buy them something they want for the house.
Or, we give them cash for something they want.
For birthdays they all get the same amount spent on them.
The youngest probably know the eldest gets more at Christmas.
But, she will realize it evens out,because we give her pocket money every week.

[Daisy]

We've always try to spend about the same on each son, each DIL and each grandchild. At Christmas, say, sometimes we spend more than other years, but even if the budget might be a bit bigger or smaller, each grandchild has about the same amount spent on them. The only slight variation is that we give the two eldest (GSs) some holiday money, but the GDs, who don't get to go on holiday, would get something in lieu - say a toy, a treat, clothes - whatever seems best at the time. We don't make a big issue of it, and it seems to work ok.

[Oma]

We always try to give the same , Maybe a few pounds either way difference depending what they want , but never more than a couple of pounds ,
GS1 gets more money treats during the year because we see him more and he being older is out and about with his friends all the time Needing money ,
GS2 was given spending money when he went skiing .
We also put the same amount of pocket money in the bank for them every week have done since they were born ,

[Qwerty]

Interesting topic Gem I treat all my grandchildren the same as they are all individual children be it an only one or twins they are treated with same amount of money , after all they didn’t ask to be born , my only guilt feeling is that since my eldest from the age of 3 we have taken her away for a few days to the coast etc, this year now she’s 8 in July we are taking her to London for a week, we feel she’s old enough now to appreciate the trip and we are able to look after her, it’s s bit more difficult with twins, I can manage one but don’t think OH is able to manage the other one should they run off. We pay for everything accommodations and travel daddy sends her pocket money. By the time the twins are old enough for something like London we don’t think we will be able to mange a trip to London OH will be 76 ish and I will be 73 as I feel at the moment I could manage one at that age not sure about 2 but maybe we can make it up in some other ways . I know my DS would understand 😀
Ooohh same amount of money for each one in a bank account each month, but eldest being here first has more money in the bank, you can go on forever trying to justify things 🤔

[Avo]

Each grandchild gets roughly the same amount spent on them.

[Shemadee]

Only have the two boys right now but hopefully two more GC towards the end of the year! They have roughly the same spent on them. We gave GS1 some pocket money for his skiing holiday and took GS2 to York for a couple of nights.

I remember my MIL looking horrified when one of the children told her that their new shoes had cost £28. I jumped in quickly and said they were just Clark’s sandals knowing that was what OH and his brothers had always wore. It is hard to keep up with living costs once you are buying just for two.

When we had any kind of windfall we would pass some on to the children and DS would tell us to give his share to his sisters. Now that he has plans to marry his GF he has, quite understandably, stopped being so generous!

[Plantaholic]

Always tried to be fair, when they were at Uni. I did give them more at times. OH invested £1,000 pounds for each of the six GC which they received when they were 18, the last one has just received his. GS3 who is at Uni. has done some jobs for me, recently he painted my garage doors and is going to do the gate during the summer. The money helps to keep his overdraft down. Christmas and birthdays I try to keep the price of their presents more or less the same.

[Glammanana]

We have always spent roughly about the same on all of our DGCs and helped towards funding their school trips,DD used to struggle when the 2 eldest boys where at school as there is only 13mths between them and they used to go on school trips together,when eldest DGS went off to Uni I used to fund his freezer every month with an Iceland shop but made it up to the others with trips to cinema when they wanted to see a film.
I have always bought their school shoes for DD as she could be manipulated by DGD for fashion shoes with "nana" it was my way or the highway via Clarks.
I buy during the year for their C-------s boxes and make sure they are of similar values all in all they never go short in anyway.
At the minute as you can guess I am forever buying little bits and bobs for my 2 little new additions.

[Gemini]

If either of my DDs were less well off than the other (fortunately neither struggle financially) I would help them more with shoes, clothes, trips etc. I would still not make the actual Christmas and birthday presents value differ however.