GGS and the biter

[Plantaholic]

What is it that causes children to bite? My GGS was playing with a friend's little girl, they are both about 21/2 and she bit him on the arm so badly that it almost drew blood, he has a bruise showing her teeth. Of course my GS1 and his wife played it down, after all it might have been the other way around, not that he has ever bitten anyone as yet, is it frustration?

Buy the way, GGS is progressing very well with his potty training, with the new baby being due in Sept. they would like him to be out of nappies. It is so funny to see GS1 and his wife with potty at the ready. He has some smart new pants which he loves. He is going to miss us all when they move into their new house, hopefully very soon. BUT we shall miss them too.

[Gemini]

Biting is not good. When I worked with under 5's it was a serious incident, to be reported to both sets of parents or carers. A persistent biter would probably not be allowed to remain until that phase passed.
It can be pure frustration. I want that toy you have, sort of thing. Why some resort to biting rather than shouting, crying or trying to wrench the toy away from the other child I don't know. Poor GGS.

It sounds as though he is doing really well. I'm sure he will miss you all, and you him. I'm sure you will still all see a lot of each other though

(GGS missing you all when he moves reminds me of my GS1, about 17 months old when we all went on a family villa holiday. Only a week, but he got used to being with us all. DD told me that when they came home, just him and his mum and dad, he lay in the hallway and cried inconsolably for a very long time, because Grandma wasn't with them!)

[Plantaholic]

Yes, GGS adores my DD, his GM, she is such a gentle, quiet, wise person like you Gemini. The parents of the biter didn't know about the bite and when spotted later, the father asked what it was on GGS's arm.

[Oma]

We have been lucky the boys never did bite ,neither of them .GD didn't either but she was a screamer. My friends GD was a scratcher she would go for anyone's face child or Adult it didn't matter she was a wild cat. It lasted quite a few month if I remember rightly she was a hair puller too. Strange how some children do this and others don't

[Nanto2girls]

As far as i know my 2 boys and both GDs have never been biters.
And they have never been bitten.
I think they do it out of frustration and hopefully the phases soon pass.

[WeeGranny]

My DS was a biter and only stopped when I bit him back. I don't think he realised just how painful it was......and my bite was only a nip compared to his sharp teeth. Not proud of my actions, but it called for drastic measures at the time as nothing else had worked.

[Oma]

WG I remember my mother telling my sister to bite my Niece back when she bit her , it worked , Niece was shocked and never tried again ,
I had forgotten about that till I read you had done the same , strange how you remember things when your memory is jogged

[Shemadee]

The daughter of a friend of mine was a biter. She would regularly bite half a dozen children at one gathering. Her mother spoke to a child psychologist who told her not to worry as it was a passing fad. One day my DD1 bit her back and the mother started shouting at my DD threatening to smack her bottom. One of the few times in my adult life that I let rip with my Irish temper. Unfortunately DD then bit a few other children. We moved house shortly after all this happened and I told DD that the children in W...... did not bite and if she bit anyone none of the children would play with her. It worked like magic thank goodness.

[Sunshine]

Unfortunately biting is a common phase for toddlers.
There are a variety of reasons, sometimes frustration when children can’t explain their feelings. If two children are squabbling over a toy for example, if child A bites child B, child B will definitely let go of the toy.
Sometimes biting is just attention seeking - you can guarantee a reaction if you bite someone.
Very often children bite when the are cutting their back teeth.
When dealing with a biting incident, whatever the cause, the best course of action is to say NO clearly and firmly to the biter and pay all your attention to comforting the injured child.
Although biting a child back used to be common practice, it is frowned upon today. It may work, but only because of the pain it causes. It doesn’t actually help a child appreciate what they have done.
Once everyone has calmed down after the incident it is usually helpful to show the biter the mark they have caused on their friend and to explain it is very sore. (There is no guarantee they won’t do it again though on another occasion.)
Strategies for a biter, like suggesting biting a cushion or teething toy if they are feeling cross or frustrated can be helpful.
When a biting incident occurs eg at nursery or playgroup it is important that it is recorded and both sets of parents/carers are informed, without naming and shaming the biter. After all this is a normal part of a toddlers development along with temper tantrums, fussy eating and soiled pants. They WILL grow out of it. Be patient and thank goodness that not ALL children show this behaviour in their most formative years.

[Daisy]

Sunshine - it must have been really difficult if you had a biter in your Nursery School days. I can imagine the reactions of some of the parents would be hard to handle as well.

Fortunately they do grow out of it - I never had a biting incident at college.