The dummy debate

[Gemini]

How do you feel about dummies? A good aid to settling a baby and giving extra comfort (after all, they can't suckle at the breast all day!) or a bad habit which is hard to break?

I have nothing against dummies at all. If a child doesn't need one, fine, but if the parents and carers feel they do, that's fine too, in my opinion.

My first baby was given a dummy as she seemed to need more sucking comfort than she did feeds. At 9 months old I realised that she wasn't bothering with it much, so the next night I just lay it next to her rather than put it in her mouth. She ignored it, and that was the end of dummies for her!
Baby 2 was more attached. She gave hers up at 2 and a half, in return for her choice of toy (from the cheap area of the shop )
Baby 3 had all sorts of dummies bought, each one rejected. The breast was the only comfort she would have. It was very tying!

Both of my grandchildren had dummies, which they loved. GD 'gave hers to her baby cousin' when he was born just after her 3rd birthday. That cousin is now 3 years and 4 months old. He still has a dummy for bed, but plans to give it to the Dummy Fairy (I think she's a friend of the Tooth Fairy!) in return for something nice. Not sure when, but it is under discussion

[Daisy]

I think it's horses for courses - they are a comfort to some babies/toddlers but not all. Neither of my own sons had them - DS1 was far too attached to his thumb, quite literally from Day 1 Hour 1. DS2 wouldn't even put a rubber teat in his mouth - he was drinking from a proper cup at 8 months. He sucked two fingers but not for long.

I can't remember ever seeing either GSs with one, but both GDs have had them. Whenever they needed comfort when they were babies, and GD2 at 2 yrs 3 months has one at bed and nap time. GD1 gave hers to the Dummy Fairy when she was about 3. I think, like your GD, Gem, she found that the DF was quite generous in return - but the timing was of GD's choosing.

Does anybody think attitudes to dummies have changed over the years?

[Oma]

Neither of my children would have them but all my grandchildren had them and gave them up when they were ready too , Sophia still has hers at night she will be 3 in April but DS said once it falls out of her mouth she doesn't look for it , The boys loved there's , I don't mind them if it comforts a child. Josh gave his to Santa 😊

[Plantaholic]

My children didn't have one , DD sucked her thumb until she was 2, only the eldest had a dummy at bedtime, I think that went to the fairies, I have no objection to dummies but I would rather they were used just for sleep time

[Libra Gran]

All 4 of mine had one I think there a comfort thing, especially if baby is fractious. E N & M had one T wasn't interested and didn't suck her thumb either. As long as there used for sleepy time or to placate an upset child I approve wholeheartedly, but hate seeing a child 2+ outside with one. N was besotted with hers until she was 3 1/2 years old, the others gave theirs to the dummy fairy at 2 years old. Now a little story,I had a dummy until I was 7 shock- horror, the first thing I wanted when I got in from school. I admit to having the occasional tantrum and throwing it in the fireplace, for Dad to take a trip to the corner shop for another. One particular day he warned if I threw it he wasn't getting another, he was true to his word.

[Gemini]

My children and grandchildren have only used dummies for sleep, after the first few months. I'm not keen on 2 and 3 year olds running around with a dummy in mouth.

Once on holiday in Spain DD3 made friends with 2 little girls. The younger one was 6, the same age as DD at the time. She was a perfectly normal child, with intelligent parents, but spent a lot of time poolside with either dummy or bottle clamped between her teeth!!
We were all amazed!

[Shemadee]

My Mother was very anti dummies and when DD1 was born I resisted for about four weeks. After a couple of evenings of screaming (turned out to be colic) I bought a dummy, reluctantly put it in her mouth - and she spat it straight out!! So much for that! DS1 bawled all night when we first came home from hospital. I gave him a dummy and he slept like a dream from then on. I think he was about 3 when he gave it up. DD2 also had a dummy and gave it up at a similar age. They can be a godsend soothing an unsettled baby but I don't like to see older children with them though would guess the older they are the harder the habit is to break.

[Nana]

DD1 had a dummy until she was about three, which she substituted with her thumb when her dummy 'went to a child who hadn't got enough money to buy one'. When she's overly tired she still sucks her thumb (she's 40). Her DS still loves his dummy when he gets home from school (he's nearly 5). He has it at bedtime here & in the car when he's sleepy. A funny habit he has is that he likes a cold dummy so has one in each hand which he sucks in turn. Swops one for the other when he wants a cold one. His younger cousin has started to copy him & also has two dummies now. His mummy wasn't at all bothered about a dummy when she was a little girl.

Funny that this topic should come up now as I've just thrown out all the old dummies & replaced them with new ones at the grand total of £12 so they're not cheap. Not the ones they have at least. I just think that some children might just need a little more comfort than another.

[Gemini]

My grandson sleeps with two dummies Nana! He has one in his hand and one to suck, and likes to swap them over

[Nana]

Isn't that strange Gem? As I said he swaps to the other dummy when the one he's sucking gets warm.

[Grauntie Mag]

One DD sucked her thumb into adulthood and the other sucked two fingers into adulthood! I'd much rather they had had dummies, we could have dispensed with them much earlier and maybe they wouldn't have needed braces on their teeth.

[Glammanana]

Gemini my DD was just the same do you remember those dummies which had the rattle sound inside them years ago,well DD would have one in her mouth and one in each hand and woe betide if she lost one during the night there was mayhem and a frantic search through her cot/bed for the missing dummie she gave them up when she started nursery and decided she was a big girl now,but I always kept one or two handy "just in case" for a few months after that.Funnily enough she has never offered her sons or daughter a dummy and they have always slept very well and been placid babies.

[Nanto2girls]

Both of ours had had a dummy, until they were a year old. Both gave them up of their own freewill.Youngest granddaughter was tried with one, but she never took to it.

I have 2 nieces that were never offered, their Mum didn't want them to have them. The eldest one is 38 and pregnant, and still sucks her thumb.

[Mimi]

Only our youngest of ours had a dummy. Our eldest was such a sleepy content baby he didn't need it. Our second was a noisy fidgety baby , I tried to get him to have a dummy but he just kept spitting it out and our youngest was constantly unwell that a dummy was such a help in comforting her.
I don't see a problem with having a dummy in babies as it's far easier to control than thumb sucking. Our 12 year old GD still sucks her thumb when she is lay on the sofa watching tv or cuddling down to sleep.
I worry that if her school friends should see it she may well be teased ( we know children can be very cruel) and I would hate that to happen.

[Gemini]

While I was on holiday my GS1 gave up his dummies. He always took 2 to bed. He only had them for bed (But would sneak up and get them during the day sometimes if no one noticed )
He is 4 now so it was certainly time. Apparently it wasn't as traumatic, for either of them, as his mum had feared.